I've read quite a few books about fighting in your Christian walk, fighting for relationships and fighting against the accuser of the brethren. Right now, I'm struggling with the idea of how. How to fight for people. Specifically, what am I doing out of striving and what am I doing out of God's rest.
Trust is the root of everything in a relationship.
You cannot truly fight for someone who doesn't trust you, but someone wont trust you until you truly prove yourself.
It doesn't land on one person, it is a joint effort to build a relationship.
We often put un-needed forms of frustration and impatience as we lay all of the responsibility on ourselves.
That is a subtle form of deception that Satan uses against us.
The person you desire to fight for has no reason to truly trust your words until your actions match up with them. They have to see that you aren't going to abandon them when the going gets tough, mostly because that's what people have done in the past.
I'm sure that all of us have a wound in our past from someone abandoning us. I've found myself recently struggling with my identity, something I haven't struggled with in a while but something that God is doing in my heart. He's growing me and I'm glad I'm aware of it instead of retreating from it.
In college I had a great community but there came a point when I didn't feel pursued by my own friends. I found my worth in the community instead of in the Father and when they didn't pursue me I lost my place. Pursuit is a two way street, but there were lies I was believing that didn't add up. I felt burned and abandoned by that community, so I left.
I ran away.
Something I've been learning from Kate Kovach is approaching difficult issues in relationships. I can't even begin to count the times Kate approached me on issues in our relationship. It was messy, it was never pretty but it was worth it. We connected extremely well at Training Camp and from then on there was a constant attack on our friendship. It takes a lot of maturity and courage to do this and it is something I'm still learning about how to love well within the situation.
Most of the time I wasn't even aware of the issues, she would bring them to me. I could sense that there was something off in the Spirit but I chose to keep it to myself.
Sensing is something I view as a curse. Something extremely frustrating because it causes me to analyze everything. I'm constantly reading people's nonverbals or trying to figure out what is happening around me.
I wouldn't say one of my strengths is encouragement, I've heard people speak that over me before but I really do struggle to provide encouragement.
I'm much better at pushing people. That is an area that I need to work on and something that often pushes people away. It takes a strong friendship like I have with Kate to realize that fighting for people is done mostly through encouragement.
Fighting isn't done through pushing but through encouragement and prayer.
That's were I struggle, God is bringing multiple times in my relationships that I hint at things. A way of pushing instead of just speaking clearly. It's me being passive aggressive.
So that is what God is doing in my heart, how He is growing me and pushing me. As you can tell, I don't have it all figured out but this is a good start.
– What are you trying to teach me here?
– What issues in my heart are you trying to raise through this?
– What is it you want me to see?
– What are you asking me to let go of?”
Ephesians 3:20 – God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
