Mark and I had the amazing opportunity to go out with some Malaysian fishermen and participate in a day of their life. It was an amazing experience and I saw some things I didn't even know were possible. I talked more about the beauty in my last blog.
God revealed so much to me while being with these fishermen.
About the men He chose as the first disciples, about the way of the man and the heart of the man.
I had the opportunity to come into what I felt to be a sacred man time on the boat. I say sacred because I God showed me the brotherhood that they had and the way they worked together.
I've really been diving into what it means to be a man since South Sudan, about 4 months. It is a never ending battle in which God is teaching me to be a warrior, teaching me to accept romance, to adventure the world with Him and turn to him for validation.
The first surprising part of our journey, that both Mark and I got some good laughs about, was the fact that the fishermen never wore pants.
Most of them came with pants or shorts on, but as soon as their feet hit the boat they took them off. Only wearing some bikini style underwear. It was funny to laugh at them but..
I saw something deeper.
This was their time. Pants were too much for them, too restrictive and they just wanted to be free. They weren't bound by lawful thinking. Men are made for adventure, but more importantly they were called into a brotherhood. A quote by John Eldredge is,
Masculinity is bestowed by masculinity.
These men were in a close brotherhood. Often times as men we like to compare each other and are embarrassed by ways we might not live up to other men. These men were comfortable enough with themselves and their brotherhood, that they could go without their pants. They could expose themselves without the feeling of being ashamed or weak.
It was amazing how quickly they worked. Since we left at night, we didn't see much of the men around the boat. They were off in their areas sleeping until it was time to work. Captain Tan was driving the boat out to sea, the only reason I could see him was because of the cigarette lighting up his face.
When it was time to put the nets out, they went straight to their places. Their strengths came out during this time. They were so used to each other that they operated in such a smooth, carefree way.
God spoke to me about the ways I have failed to step into manhood more this year. Not exposing my strengths enough and the feeling of hardly exposing my weaknesses. Sometimes, exposing my weaknesses only to a certain extent and hiding the rest.
You can't see it from the picture because their wasn't enough light… But there is a man sitting on the front of the boat during this picture. Just admiring the nature around him.
He came outside to watch the sunrise right before we pulled in the nets.
It caught me off guard.
There I was admiring the sunrise along with another man. He didn't say anything to me during that time or the whole day for that matter but I drew quite a bit from him at rest.
He had something that I am just learning about and he probably didn't think of it the same way I did. It is crucial for a man to understand how God romances us, that He is going to be the one who fills the void in our souls. It also shows us how women and wives desire to be romanced.
That at the core of our being we are drawn to nature.
I didn't have it figured out and I knew it. I needed Tan or else the process of sorting fish would have been a very long process.
Before Mark and I ever made it to the boat, the morning before we were supposed to leave, Chi took us to the fisherman's coffee shop. This is when the revelations started happening, when God started to speak to me about the men He chose as His disciples.
