If you haven't read part one, read it!
We went around the room with the kids, none of whom could talk, some who were blind and all of them were very skinny and pale. It was a tough time emotionally, these kids were struggling to survive and I take my life for granted. I thought to myself, "I get mad when I don't get to have my way? These kids have never left their bed, they have never ran." At first I wasn't sure if I could touch them, they seemed too frail. I thought again, if I was going to touch them, I needed to be soft. My thoughts were jumping all over the place, I was overwhelmed. I looked over at Jill again, like she was my guide. She loved it here. I looked at her and she was pulling one of the kid's arms. Yanking on of the blind girl's arms around, the little girl could not stop laughing.
I walked up to Wes and he pointed out the older girl. Her feet were up by her cheeks and the nurse showed me her legs. They were attached upside down at the hip so instead of facing down towards the ground they were facing up. She reached out her hand and grabbed mine. Then came the deadlock, this time instead of the eyes it was with the hand. This child had amazing strength; she grasped my hand and didn't let go. Not for an instant.
As I looked down on the teenage girl, I could see that one of her eyes was not working but the other eye was keeping an intense watch on me. I kept standing there, hunched over as she pulled my hand closer to her body. She couldn't speak but I talked to her in English a little bit, as a way to ease the awkwardness of the situation. It was awkward, it didn't feel right to just stand there and stare. It made me feel bad to stare at them. The way she had my hand was uncomfortable for me. So I grabbed her other hand and started pulling her hands around, since Jill was doing it I figured I could too. Since the little girl she was playing with loved it so much, this little girl must also. I pulled her arms around, wiggling them around and moving them in all directions. I could tell it was an unusual sensation for the girl, she started making weird faces like she wasn't used to her arms moving with these motions. Then my hands accidently hit together and she started laughing. So I did it again, wiggling her arms around quickly and then bashing my hands together. She laughed harder.
This is where I lost all sense of pain or suffering for the children in the room. Her laughter was moving and it changed my emotions completely. My touch was so simple, yet so healing for the girl. She was so fragile, but was finding so much joy in the littlest thing. Then I started laughing. It was such a joyful time. It made me think of the scripture Luke 13:11-13.
"And a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. Then [Jesus] put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God."
So I began to pray for her and then I realized I hadn't prayed for any of the children. I was so overwhelmed by the situation that I couldn't even operate normally. I was worried about touching them, but it was Jesus who simply touched the woman and it straightened her body. I prayed for each of the children in that room one by one, but none of them straighened up and began to walk. As far as I know. I am not discouraged, but God taught me so much from that time in the room.
Finally after the little teenage girl had laughed for a while, she released my hands. It was like she was saying, "You can go now, I am so happy you stayed with me." So I moved onto the other children. Praying for each of them, asking God to straighten out their bodies, allow one of them to walk out of this place in front of me. It didn't happen, but I didn't lose the joy I had.
The lady who was working finally asked us to leave. So all of us said a prayer for the children and the workers and exited the room. As we were leaving I noticed Bruce's friend, she was crying and it looked like she had been crying for some time. I was taken back because as I was leaving the room, it was with a smile. And I thought, am I wrong to be smiling? Why don't I feel the way she feels? Why am I not sad?
I don't know the answers to those questions; all that I know was that the two little girls who Jill and I had been playing with gave me so much joy. I wanted to see healing in each of them, but their joy in the little things provided me with a freedom from pain and sorrow.
The time in this orphanage really blew me away. As we head into Africa I know that God has some amazing things in store. Many people have said Africa is going to be challenging, and I am excited for the challenge. Some of my blogs in the future might not show it, I don't know honestly. But what I do know is that these little girls and boys in this orphanage are living the hardest life I have ever seen. Yet, they cannot complain, they cannot speak, they cannot move or escape… I am ready for the challenge, I am ready to see supernatural signs and wonders and I am ready to preach the Gospel of Jesus to the people of Africa.
What it all comes down to is God's love. I had to come to the place of loving these children in order for God to show me everything He wanted to show me. Wes posted a blog about God's love recently that is really great.
