It has been a long week. A week filled with new experiences, challenges, blessings and fun. On Tuesday, our team took a 4 hour road trip to the biggest city in Bulgaria. While in Sofia, we took part in services in three churches on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night. It was kind of fun to be traveling like a nomad with only our small daypacks as luggage. There was room for one change of clothes, a Bible, toothbrush and of course Bananagrams if we could find time to play. The week was certainly busy as each day we traveled to a new church, shared testimonies, preached and prayed over people. The following morning we usually spent time with the pastor or church members for breakfast, prayed over more people in the village and then set off for the next place.
Each church seemed similar yet different at the same time. Tuesday night was the most distracting. First Sarah and I were invited inside and ushered to our seats on the right with the women. Then, women on the front row were greatly encouraged to move so we could have a better seat. Before we’d even sat down again the pastor corrected the kind usher and moved us over to the front of the men’s section on the left. The way our team has been received in many places has been interesting. Some places it feels like too much – they bring us water or coffee and little trays of cookies, place the fans so they’ll blow on us or give us the front row (right next to the blaring speakers!). I don’t know if it’s because we’re Americans (and a Canadian) or because we’re labeled as missionaries, maybe it’s just because we’re guests…I’m still trying to process this. It's just weird to have so much attention placed on us as we come with the intention of turning the attention to Christ.
Tuesday night the pastor was extremely loud in all he said and did. Loud may be an understatement. He would continually shout, even during the songs and prayers. It was extremely hard to focus as sweat was running down my back, the bench was pretty narrow and he had been shouting out a prayer in Bulgarian for 15 minutes. Sometimes people here pray with their eyes open so I wasn’t even sure if he was still praying or if I’d missed the Ah-meen (Amen). After about an hour or so the service was turned over to the team and Pastor Yavor and Navana, our translator friend, sang some songs. We shared our testimonies and Blake gave a great message on stepping out of the boat and trusting Christ with faith. At the end the people asked us to pray over them, but the pastor insisted on making a tunnel and sending them through so it would go more quickly.
After the service we went to the pastor’s house for dinner. We were served a typical Gypsy meal of sausage patties, salad with cucumbers, tomatoes and cheese (green, red and white for Bulgaria), lots of bread, watermelon and some desserts (including cool Mickey Mouse cookies). This was an immense amount of food and it was all really good, but looking back I saw more loud emotion and show than real connection or brotherly love. The connection I have with Pastor Yavor’s family is genuine and I sincerely hope to keep up with them in the future. This pastor gave us good seats and honored us with a good meal but I couldn’t really see his heart in it. The Gypsy culture is one that is very much filled with pride and emotion. I’ll probably touch on this in another blog, but there is so much desire among these people for blessings and health without a true desire to be connected to Christ. Everywhere we went there was loud music and such pride in the worship time (I seriously thought the speakers would blow at one place), but inside there is much emptiness and shame.
Typical Gypsy meal
Jill, Frank and I at dinner on Wednesday night.
I’m not saying that I’m ungrateful for a chance to share Jesus with people who needed to hear, or that I’m not thankful for the wonderful meal and place to stay the night. It was really just frustrating to see and a little heartbreaking as I know that there is so much more to be found in knowing Jesus instead of forcing emotion and a painted smile. My fear is that this one church is not the only one to put on a mask. I pray that we would all learn to be more vulnerable in sharing our struggles and triumphs as we understand what true fellowship and worship really looks like.
“I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!” –Amos 5:21-24
True worship is loving Christ and having your heart broken for what breaks His. Religious assemblies and offerings given out of a spirit of pride or for our own purposes do not glorify Christ. Justice and righteousness for his name's sake are what he desires!
This blog recounts my experience and observations. It’s not meant to condemn or judge but to instead encourage a turn from hypocrisy and shallow praise. We were made to live for more – to be joyful and satisfied in Christ. Anything else that we pour ourselves into is a false imitation and it does not bring life or hope.
