Laos was a difficult month. I had time nearly every day to think about God and my lacking relationship with him. I spent lots of time thinking about free will, about the character of God, the meaning of it all, the void between the God of the bible and the God of modern-day Christianity and about faith in general. It definitely wore me down. Although the month didn’t produce any tangible change in my mindset, I’m glad that I pushed myself and pressed in. Doing hard things encourages character growth. To everyone who encouraged me through Laos, thank you. Every one of your comments on my blogs helped to get me through. My next blog will have a video made from the footage I took in Laos.
After moving on from Laos, we had a debrief (time of recovery) in Thailand. As a logistics coordinator I put many hours into making the debrief happen so it was particularly special to see everyone enjoy a week on the beach exploring via mopeds and having a good time of rest. Then at the end of debrief the big moment we had all been waiting for came around, team changes. The first 4 months my team had the same 7 members. To encourage more growth, 6 of the 7 teams were mixed up. My new team, team fusion, has 2 of my old teammates (Brian and Julie) and 4 new people (Tai, Janet, Jeremi, and Amy). Because our new team is the combination of 2 old teams, we named ourselves team Fusion. We chose this name not because we view ourselves as 2 separate entities but because fusion is a powerful process where 2 nuclei collide and create incredible results. This new team is not random, we were intentionally “collided” together to produce incredible results.
Although we weren’t told why this team was formed to have this combination of individuals, I’ve made a hobby of figuring out how each relationship between the 7 of us was carefully and intentionally put together by world race leadership. It’s not an easy adjustment from my previous team but I would have put the same combination of people together my self (we had no say in the team changes). I’ve literally already seen the newly formed team dynamics break down walls that had remained impenetrable for the last 4 months. And it’s only been a week.
Team Fusion has been at ministry in Cambodia for a week now. We’re at a church campus right outside of Siem Reap leading English classes, painting, and hanging out with kids. Despite a minor disagreement with my bowels and the blaringly loud wedding music that often goes late into the night from the venue next-door, it’s been a really great week. I’ve been continuing my Laos trend of reading lots. The Tears of My Soul about the Khmers Rouges reign of terror over Cambodia in the 70’s gave me a gritty perspective on the country. It’s crazy to think that all the Cambodians who lived through the 70’s lived through a holocaust like experience. Although this is primarily a spiritual journey for me, it’s also a great time of cultural immersion.
Pray these things over me: Fusion will become unified and forget the identities of our previous teams. God will work in the new group dynamics and new relationships. God will reveal himself in new ways to me.
To close, a piece of scripture I’ve been taking to heart lately:
Awake, O Lord! Why do you sleep?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever.
Why do you hide your face?
-Psalm 44:23-24
