At the bottom of this blog, check out the second video for my time in India.
I have always like the idea of Nepal. 8 out of the world’s 10 highest mountains, hardly developed infrastructure, green year round. We arrived in Kathmandu 6 days ago and all 44 of us will be together for the whole month. Our squad took over an entire 4 story building and on a clear day, we can see the snowy Himalayas from our rooftop.
So far in Nepal we have had lots of free time along with some time set aside for a debrief of our time in India. I rented a dirt bike for 2 days and explored the surrounding hills (if it’s not covered in snow year round then it’s not a mountain according to locals). After being so confined with our ministry in India, it was especially freeing to explore the windy dirt roads of the Himalayas. A real breath of fresh air. The world race has a never be alone policy so I had a fellow racer on the back of my bike both days which made the experience even richer.
Though I have a feeling of freedom and am surrounded by the greatest mountain range on earth, spiritually I feel a lack of fullness. India built me up in faith, hearing first hand about a man being raised from the dead and other crazy miracles and seeing plentiful faith in my teammates.
Intellectually I could go either way in my belief in God. It’s the faith I see in others that leads me towards a belief in God and away from atheism. But the other night I began questioning the faith of my peers. The night started off with people pouring out their struggles in life and in India, then people shared about what they needed healing for (abuse, low self-esteem…). People got vulnerable and emotional, which I think is amazing. Then we started praying and things got a bit crazy. People were passing out and falling over (yes I had to catch someone), speaking gibberish (tongues) and laughing a lot. And this was all attributed to the holly spirit.
Now I’m not going to say that what happened that night was not a direct pouring out of God onto man, but I think it would be foolish not to question the spiritual authenticity of a group of people who just got emotionally vulnerable.
It does not instill a large amount of confidence in me that the group of people I decide to follow blindly in faith derive their connection to God by getting vulnerable, emotional, and then crazy. With that logic, the Hindus and the Muslims aren’t looking that nuts all of a sudden.
Nothing I’ve written is meant to have a sour taste or a negative tone, I’m just writing out my observations and my reactions with honesty. But if what happened was authentic, then why didn’t I get a slice of the cake? I was all onboard. First one through the prayer tunnel (yes we had a prayer tunnel), I was praying for people, getting prayed over, I was asking for some holly spirit goodness… and nothing happened. Not even a little tingling of the fingers or a hint of the supernatural.
Just because someone passes out doesn’t mean God is present. I’ve seen a hypnotist do that. I need some real tangible Godness is my life. Something I can point to and say THIS is why I believe.
Whatever your THIS is, your reason to believe, pray that over me. And feel free to share it with me to build me up in faith even if I can’t get it first hand.
