Let’s just be real. I suck at being a Christian.
Sometimes I am far too lazy. Sometimes I don’t even take the time to talk to the people I should. Sometimes I let my mind become far too consumed with things of this world. Sometimes I believe every lie the Devil tells me.
Ever since being accepted to the race and entering this new season of my life, boy has the Devil been attacking me hard.
Yes, college is really hard. But that is no excuse for how much I have let life and Satan intervene with my relationship with Christ.
Here’s the cool part though, God still loves me. God says I am good enough. He says this is what I was made to do. God could have chosen the best Christian in the world (impossible) but no He chose me! The most broken of all sinners to spread His name across the globe. HOW COOL!
Remember when I said in my first blog that one thing I wanted from this trip was for God to completely break me and put me back together again? Guess what, He already is. He’s using these many distractions to test my faith in Him. Even when my faith is small, He has STILL continued to provide.
It is really easy to withdraw from this life, to prepare yourself to leave. I have experienced myself doing this for the past few months. Side note, I really kind of suck at emotions. It is almost if I have become bitter towards my life and friends now, because I know how much I will miss everything when I’m gone. But you know what, that’s okay. It’s okay to miss these wonderful times and people in life God has given us.
I don’t want to waste my time here, just as I won’t want to on the race. This is a really crucial part of my journey. Right now. Not training camp, or launch in September, but right now. God is preparing me for this journey.
I’m ready to let go of everything that is holding me back. To love God and others more than I ever have before. To trust in His will and use my time left wisely. To choose joy, every single day.
Because God says I am good enough for the world race, as long as God is enough for me. And that is all that matters. Thank goodness He said, “It is finished.” Thank goodness God lets me come back to Him time and time again and never keeps a record of my wrongs. Wow, what a wonderful Lord we serve! How can we not want to spend all our time loving Him and the people He created?
“Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations” -Deuteronomy 7:9
