Let me start off by saying that I know there are a bunch of cliches such as “being single is better because I’m not tied down” or “being single is better because I can go when and where I want without telling anyone”. The typical “make yourself feel better because you’re still single” sayings. That’s not what this is.
I’ve officially been single for a year. When I say single, it doesn’t only mean I haven’t been in a relationship for a year. It also means that I haven’t been interested, pursued or attempted to have feelings for anyone in a year. This is the first time I’ve gone that long since I was 18. That’s quite an accomplishment for me! Sure I still care deeply for people, worry about them and genuinely want the best for them in their lives. That will never go away. Its just how I was made. But the desire to actually be with someone and have legitimate romantic feelings towards someone is gone for now.
I have no doubt that the desire will come back. I still want to gat married and have a family of my own. I would absolutely love that. However I know that it’s not the right timing and I know God will put that desire back into my heart when He knows that I’m ready for it.
I don’t know what being ready for it looks like. What I do know is what this last year has been, the things I’ve done and accomplished. I’ve been a co-leader in both a co-ed small group and a women’s study. I’ve developed beautiful friendships with many women and have developed a heart to love them and be there for them when they’re hurting. I’m on the World Race! That in itself is just astonishing. And most importantly, I’ve come to trust, rely and lean on God so much more than I ever have in the past.
I never would have done these things or came to be where I am if I was with someone. I would’ve held myself back and let myself settle into comfort. I know this because I’ve watched myself do it time and time again.
This year has shown me what God can do if I stop trying to do things my way and just let Him work. It has shown me what can happen if I let my heart be open to what He has to teach me and stop letting myself be distracted by what I think is best for myself, by what I think I want most. It has taught me to stop waiting for life to start. Instead to start living life for each and every moment, giving each one up to Him to use as He pleases.
God says He will give you the desires of your heart. I really believe that it means that He’ll show you what you didn’t even know you wanted. All you have to do is give Him the chance and the space in your heart to work. He will do amazing things.
I never thought I would say it, but I’m glad I’m single. I’m thankful for the breakups and all of the times it didn’t work out. I love how I’ve changed through all of it and I’m beyond excited for another year of singleness on the World Race. I’m ecstatic to see the growth and change that will happen along the way. I know He has incredible things in store.
So no, this isn’t a pathetic cry begging people to believe me that I’m happy to be single. It’s not a way for me to say that everyone in a relationship should dump there significant other. It’s not even a celebration of the things I’ve accomplished this year. It’s a celebration of what God has done in me. It’s a celebration of how He’s worked and how He’s shown His incredible ways through my life. He truly does know what He’s doing and I trust Him completely.
I would like to challenge you, whether you’re married, in a relationship or single, to be happy where you are. Stop wishing for a different time, a different moment. Open yourself up to what God’s trying to teach you in this season of your life and let Him work. I promise, you won’t regret it.
