11 months. 11 countries. I still can’t believe it’s over. It’s been less than 3 months since returning to the States and looking back, it feels like the Race was a really looong dream… and an occasional nightmare thrown into the mix. What a wild ride South America was.
I mean… after this year, I am convinced I’m invincible.
Kidding. I owe it all to Jesus. He got me through every. single. day. And to my prayer warriors and supporters, I felt those prayers on the days I so badly wanted to throw in the towel.
I am forever grateful for this incredible and challenging year.
As good as it was some days, I remember craving the days when I would be home again.
Have alone time. (Introverts can relate)
Have free wifi + use my phone without airplane mode: ON.
And most of all, not pay for having to use public bathrooms + toilet paper.
Count your blessings, folks. 😉
But here I am. Back at home. And it’s been hard.
I suppose you don’t really calculate the realities of adjusting and transitioning into your ideals when returning to places of comfort. I knew it would be rough, but shoot dang. Living in the tension of transition is hard.
For one, finding solid community hasn’t been so easy. However, I am thankful for the family and friends who have been there for me and have allowed me to process and just breathe. I’ve realized how crucial it is to have people around you. We’re not meant to walk this life out alone. So… let’s hang out? 🙂
I’ve also struggled with expectations – the expectations others have projected on me and the ones I’ve subconsciously placed on others. A frequent question I’m asked is, “what’s next?” And, to be honest, I don’t know how to properly answer that. I know what direction I want to head in, but the steps in getting there are what’s tricky and finding employment is a bit of a struggle. So please, be patient with me. And, I’m learning to do the same with others because no one has it all together. And I can’t expect others to have grown in the same areas I did this year and hey.. that is perfectly okay!
Not a day goes by where I don’t lend my thoughts to the memories, places, and relationships I’ve left in South America. I was out of my comfort about 95% of the entire year, but it didn’t matter because I wasn’t alone in my discomfort. All 28 of us grew accustomed to discomfort and we fought for each other despite the circumstances. Not sure how to properly process all that this year brought, but I just wanted to write out a few thoughts about where I’m at. Just trying to be content in this season of transition. I’m trying to ask myself what I can learn from this season instead of simply wallowing in it and growing apathetic. I know God has good in store so I remain confident in Him.
To those who supported me… I can’t thank you enough. You were just as much a part of this Race and the best part is that it doesn’t end in South America.
We are ambassadors and wherever you find yourself is your mission field.
Much love to you all,
Ess the best 😉
