We spent only 3 days going into the Khmai prison, but we were able to see G-d move in ways greater than we imagined. i felt G-d tugging on my heart to share with the prisoners about how He is our Abba (Daddy) Father and how He calls us all sons & daughters. i shared how they are no different then me, G-d sees all of us the same and equally wants a relationship with each of us. i also told them a portion of my testimony on how growing up, my father was not always the most encouraging and a lot of times i felt i wasn’t good enough. As i grew older, i started to view G-d in a more derogatory way because i figured, if my earthly father treats me this way and see’s me this way, then my Heavenly Father can’t be much different.
The prisoners sat quieter than ever.
Their eyes pierced up at me as i told them for a year or so i walked away from my relationship with G-d, not wanting anything to do with Him, especially Him being my Father. i found myself depressed, feeling completely alone, more bitter and angry then every before and going through the thoughts of suicide. A lot of their mouthes begin to drop and one man to my left began to shake his head and quietly said, “no, no, no, please don’t.”
As i continued to share, one evening, a fight between my family and i drove me to it. My dad stormed out and my mom parted with my sisters another way and i was left there crying. The knife was on the counter, i grabbed it and ran to my room. i screamed out to G-d and said “If you’re out there, you better say something now or i’m going to take my life because i have nothing left to live for.”
And everything changed. The very real Jesus Christ became very tangibly real in my bedroom that night. He reminded me He loved me and told me who He created me to be; special, lovely, beautiful, good enough, called. He told me He had never walked way, but because i pushed Him away, He couldn’t force Himself into my life. i wept and wept as my room filled with the most glorious light i had ever seen and Jesus told me, if i give my life back to Him that He would give me that purpose i was looking for. So there in my bedroom, on my floor wet with tears i rededicated my life to Him.
i smiled at the 30+ men and said, “And now, here i am today to tell you the same thing that Jesus told me.
Jesus loves you and He calls you sons, just like He calls me a daughter. He has a plan and purpose for your life and He wants to fill that whole in your heart where you’ve felt dead and nothing was good enough.”
i shared with the prisoners how i was completely wrong about who the Father G-d is and how He so desires to lavish His love upon us. He is a good, good Daddy, who delights in us and wants a real relationship with us. He is not far, but near, He wants to be closer than anyone else.
i almost began to cry because i was reminded of that beautiful day i gave my life wholly to Jesus Christ and asked Him to be the Father that He wanted to be and the Daddy i needed HIm to be.
i told the men of the choice they now have to make. They have been given the choice to make Jesus Christ the L-rd of their life and allow G-d to be their Daddy. “If you want to invite G-d to be your Heavenly Father and make Jesus Christ your King, raise your hand.” Almost every single hand shot up as quickly as the translator said it.
Everything inside of me wanted to fall to the ground and worship G-d. 30+ men with previously proclaiming to be Buddhist or Islamic, convicted of things i can’t even imagine and sitting in front of me wanting to renounce their sin and make G-d their one and only G-d.
Breakthrough.
Everyone could feel it. A release of supernatural freedom and joy. Men that are no longer slaves to sin, but heirs to righteousness, men that are my brothers whom i will see in Heaven someday. Wow, thank you Jesus.
How great is my Daddy? He is the greatest, worthy of all the praise, honor, and glory. He changes peoples lives and brings freedom to our bondage of sin and death. Thank you L-rd.
“While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and “sinners” came and ate with Him and His disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked His disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?”
On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.“
[Matthew 9:10-13]
