“Leave it out there on the court.”
I am about two weeks in and I feel like my race has just began. Our first week here at Hope Dominican Republic was teen camp. It was fast paced, packed tight, and very little down time. I watched the hearts of children be changed through their actions. Yet through that whole week I felt some sort of disconnect. Sure the physical environment had changed from the U.S., but I could not put a finger why I did not yet feel present. This week was more laid back putting on an English School for the local children yet I still felt a sort of disconnect. There is no doubt God filled me with true joy seeing the children each day so full of life and eagerness to learn, but something was missing. I realized last night what was missing… “Me,” I was missing.
After English school 16 of us loaded up into a small 5 passenger pickup for a hour drive off the mountain. With seven of us in the cab of the truck and the other nine of us in the bed, we set off to a basketball tournament our ministry host was putting on for a nearby community. It was a great night getting to spend time with some of our other World Race teams that have been doing English School in other communities. Sometime about half way through the game a fellow racer and myself got into conversation. It started out as talking about dreams and part of my childhood then we ended up on a topic of God’s provision and my struggles with trusting God to meet my personal fund needs while on the race.
My eyes were opened when my fellow racer brought something to my attention that got me to thinking. I have not felt like I have been struggling with trusting God to raise the funds for Adventures In Missions, but I just cannot get over my personal fund needs. I know the majority of them were accumulated before I surrendered my life over to God, and in my mind this monetary debt I had accumulated was one that I needed to fix. Those were my mistakes and the other funds to the organization were on God’s dime. It does not work that way though. At training camp for the World Race back in May we sang a song in worship called “Jesus Paid It All” when God gave me this thought… “Darron, I paid your sin debt that separated you from me for all eternity…why would I not pay for your financial debt too.” I was reminded of that thought at launch as we sang that same song again. I just could not lay it down though and rest in God’s provision. It seemed crazy to myself and a few others that knew of my financial needs to go on the race at this moment, but there was no escaping this calling to “Go.” So I left launch with only some cash I was blessed with just before I left. I knew backing out was not an option although Satan was faithfully whispering and trying to bring fear.
So back to last night… It had hit me that this burden is what was hindering me. I realized although physically present, mentally I was still back in the U.S. trying to figure a way to get the funds to come in. Ultimately I knew there is nothing I could do but trust God. It was when my fellow racer said Darron you need to lay this down, trust God, and REST in Him. Rest in Him. Rest being emphasized. She was right this debt I cannot pay was a burden I desperately needed to lay at Jesus’ feet. I needed to accept God’s grace not just for my obvious sins, but for my financial mistakes that have haunted me every since. They have burdened and hindered my life too long all the while being blinded by Satan’s lies that they would never go away.
I have good news! Last night I laid it all out there on that court at the feet of Jesus and I could physically feel a weight come off my shoulders. God is amazing!!! Praise God for His grace and faithfulness. His love endures forever. Lecrae sings a song called “Go Hard” and in that song there is a few lines that say “Take me out the game coach, I don’t wanna play no more, If can’t give it all I got and leave it out there on the court, Thank you for the Grace for the will and the desire,” I knew last night it was time, so I left it all on that basketball court in prayer in Santiago, D.R.
P.S. If you are praying or would like to pray, I would ask that you ask for God to keep my mind and heart from Satan’s lies, and my faith and hope in Christ. Whether it is like the manna, “just enough for the day” or at once, either way it is only God who will supply my needs. He is my Heavenly Father from were all good gifts come.
In Christ Alone,
Darron
