So for my first blog i didn’t know what to write, and I wanted to first start by saying that im sorry for grammar, in-correct speling, and all that good stuff. I was never the best at writing out my thoughts, well for other people to read for that matter. I think i actually have journals where i couldn’t even read my own writing and the only evidence of my emotions were found in the style and presentation of the writing or doodling that went with them. It was hard to look back at the pain that i was going thru; not wanting to be alone, not being remotely in control, afraid, upset, confused. My life scribed out on paper and i couldn’t even keep the words in between the lines. I couldn’t trust myself, and it was hard to trust family and friends. Without out a light i followed the darkness and it lead me thru blind years till i couldn’t bare it any more. And then in the mist of my blurry life, God called to me….. I hurd the testimony of man that I knew thru my life. He had my story and knew my pain, addiction, and sense of being lost. What got me (and this is hard to explain) but even though his testimony was my testimony, it wasn’t our testimony at all. But the testimony of the Lord. He wanted to save me and i didn’t even know him. I came to Christ. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. It was new to me but giving all my trust to Him was a bit hard. I found this poem a little after crossing from death to life and it was immediately after when i truly gave all my trust over. Hands off the wheel and set in motion.
One night I had a dream–
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
“I don’t understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
“When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”
I found that even before i was a believer He was with me, and now more than ever. I feel unstoppable in a sense. I feel his strength when i share my faith with a stranger. His Light shines my path and I want to do his will, Trusting in the lord gives me life.
1 Peter 1:6-7
6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These
have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes
even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in
praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
