What kind of crazy person prays about quitting her job right before the Christmas season when she still needs to save at least $1400 to pay bills and have money for medication, toiletries and travel days/days off while on the Race?
What kind of crazy person leaves the man she has fallen in love with for 11 months after being together for almost 10?
What kind of crazy person spends $2000 of her savings AND repeatedly asks people to help her raise $15,500 in order to live out of a backpack, sleep on a (likely) bug infested floor, shower out of a bucket and work for 11 months?
What kind of crazy person gives up her warm bed, an income and warm shower for 11 months?
What kind of crazy person wants to leave friends and family she's known for years to spend every waking moment with 6 random Americans who are just as crazy?
What kind of crazy person DOES THAT?
….that would be I.
And today is one of those days where I am convinced I am truly a crazy person. One of those days where I feel the disconnect between what I know I’ve been called to do and the feeling in my heart has that tells me I’m just not ready to leave.
In 34 days my life will change radically and I’m feeling like I’m not ready for it; like it’s coming WAY too fast. This is the point where I dig in my heels and say “Whoa, what the heck did I do?” This is the point where my love and passion for travelling suddenly takes a backseat to the reality that’s being shoved in front of my face.
However, "the light and momentary troubles [I am experiencing and will encounter on the Race] are achieving us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” – 2 Corinthians 4:17
I have to remind myself that I’m not doing this for me. If I was, I promise you I would be doing these 11 months a whole lot differently. I’m doing this for my Heavenly Father; for the relationship I will continue to build with God; for the eternal Kingdom that He has created for us; and for the people around the World who are seeking the peace, comfort, mercy, forgiveness and hope that I once searched for and was able to find in knowing Him.
This is the point where being completely obedient to God becomes difficult, BUT this is also the point where I have to continue to make a daily choice to completely rely on Him. A month from now He will pick me up out of the mud that’s keeping me stuck in my comfortable, familiar, North American life and He will carry me. He might be carrying me to unfamiliar territory but at least I know it’s Him and I as a team and not just one lone crazy person out for the ride of her life.
