There’s something about being submissive to the will of the Lord that I have just not learned yet. Even though I “know” that He is the Potter and that I am the clay there is still this part of me that wants to question Him at every turn of the wheel. His hands are larger than mine and His control is much more inclusive than mine but still I’m there asking Him questions every step of the way.
“Is this really Your will?”
“Do I really need to go on the World Race?”
“God, are You certain that I need to take a shower in that waterfall to be clean? You can’t just wave Your hand over me and make me smell nice or in the very least make the water heated?”
Sometimes I try to barter with God, telling Him that if He turns my oatmeal bread into a malasada that I’ll do something crazy for Him in return. Like that could happen, right? Me do something crazy for God that He couldn’t already do Himself. Each time that I think something ridiculous like that the song “He Could Have Sent 10,000 Angels” floats briefly through my mind. He really could have sent 10,000 angels to take His Son off from that cross but He didn’t.
God allowed for Jesus to be crucified on that cross for our sins. He allowed Christ to go through excruciating pain and separation from Himself so that we could have a better relationship with Him. He suffered so our sins could be removed.
He allowed for His own Son to suffer for His will. How much more can I expect for myself? I want for His will to be mine but more often than not I act as though my will should be His. I ask Him why He allows for me to “suffer” through situations or scenarios that are difficult or uncomfortable for me but I rejoice in the benefits, “Thank you for allowing for me to have this experience seeing Your creation from the top of this mountain but next time can You please make the climb to the top a little less grueling?” Has God ever heard of an escalator?
1 Peter 4:12-13 “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the suffering of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed.”
It wouldn’t be worth it though, would it, if there were an escalator to the tops of the mountain. In each difficult situation that I have encountered so far on the Race I have never looked back on it to find that the joy of accomplishment or the joy of perseverance was not worth it. Each cold shower, impromptu English lesson, scrapped knuckle and blister have not only been for the benefit of the ministry site but also for my spiritual growth.
I may become irrational in my thoughts at the time and question God as to why He allowed for me to come to this place but He has a way of reminding me that He never called me to comfort and that His will and plans are greater than I can even comprehend. I may not be suffering to the point of death on the cross but God is slowly teaching me to crucify myself for Him in small ways each day and even though I might grumble in my head at the moment I really am thankful for it because slowly, as much as He knows I can handle at a time, He’s making me look more like Him.
And that is beautiful.
