It has taken me five years to finally apply for the World Race. Even now, as I'm writing my first blog post I cannot believe that this is for real. I spoke with a friend earlier today and he asked what I was most excited about for the World Race and I couldn't really answer–it just hasn't sunken in. The reality of this…I mean, I have a blog (I've been saying that ALL day) for goodness sake, is insane.
The first time that I was introduced to the World Race was through a advertisement on the side of my Facebook. It was my Freshman year of college and I was searching for things to do afterwards (a lot early, I know) so I decided that the link couldn't be some kind of virus scam and I clicked it. It led me to a super shady looking website for the World Race. I clicked off.
A week or so later I found myself thinking about it more and more so I returned to the site and watched the video below and it gave me goose bumps. I'm never been a part of a body of believers that believed in bodily healing or the raising of the dead but it touched on me somehow. Man, even still it gives me goose bumps. I showed the video to one of my suite mates and we had a conversation about it, one where she told me that she didn't think that it was legit. I totally agreed with her but I still only placed it to the back burner because I was 18 and still had a few years before I was even allowed to go. Besides, I had college and then there was the fact that I would never be accepted to something like the World Race.
Flash forward to my last semester of college and there I was sitting at my desk when I probably should have been writing some kind of research paper but instead I was making a list of the things that I could do after graduation. The list resembled something like this:
1.Stay in Philly and become an Intern at Urban Hope.
2.Go on the World Race.
3. Go back to Hawaii.
4. Fake my own death, buy a cow and move to a hill someplace warm.
At this point I was constantly reading the blogs of people that were on the World Race but I was coming to the conclusion that God probably only wanted me to be the person that prayed for others that were going–I never thought that I would be able to go even as I told others that I wanted to go. I really loved the church that I was attending and wanted so badly to be able to become an intern there–and I knew that that was something that I would be able to do, that God could use me there and that He would allow for so much growth while there. With all of the stress of graduation, though, I was (semi)seriously considering option #4.
God knows that I am a planner. I have been my whole life. I like to know how things will get done and make sure that I am clear on all options. I rehearse conversations in my head sometimes–conversations that will probably never happen. Unfortunately for me my plans never work. Fortunately for me, though, God allows for my feeble plans to fall through so that His will shine through.
I came to Hawaii after I graduated. Honestly, I felt like I had failed somehow. I told all of my friends back in Philly that I would be back in May (look at the time… :]) and that I WOULD be at Urban Hope. I spent a lot of time since then in this battle with God about being here. I think that it has been so hard for me to build relationships here because I have been so focused on escaping Hawaii that I wasn't allowing God to speak to me with the distance from the security that I had created for myself.
The church that I go to here is partnered with a ministry called Cru and I was told that I should go and be a part of it–they knew that I needed some kind of community and that I was struggling to become a part of one here. I went, reluctantly. While I was sitting there the first Tuesday night I was compiling a list of all the reasons that I shouldn't come back… really all that I could think of was my own discomfort and the fact that I felt so old. I mean, I graduated college in December. I don't even remember what was spoken about in the sermon– I was so caught up in myself. What I do remember was that while everyone else was singing some random guy came over and asked if he could pray for me.
At that moment I felt so defeated by so many things, and while I knew that he couldn't know or understand half of them, I told him that I would appreciate his prayer. God spoke through him in such a way that it healed a part of my heart. He said that he saw a wave tossed in the ocean and he prayed for my purpose. He prayed Hebrews 4:15 over me, reminding me of the Lord who had not left me without direction and purpose. He knew what I was feeling and I needed to be reminded of it. I wasn't letting God in any other way so He used a stranger to speak His words to my heart.
I kept going.
A few weeks later I found out that the man that prayed for me (a leader in Cru) and his wife had decided to follow God's call on them that would take them to East Asia. Their desire was to stay here in Hawaii, with the people they loved-the family they had built, but God knew His plans so much better and they were accepting that. They explained it so much more beautifully than I could but while I was listening all I could think of was the World Race. I had seen that the January 2014 route 1 through Central and South America was a reality an had been praying about it but it wasn't with much earnest before that night.
While I was walking back to my car that night I called my Mom and left her a voice mail telling her that I was doing it, I was applying for the World Race.
And here I am.
It has been a long time coming. But I know that His timing is perfect while mine is not. My plans are incomplete while His are glorious.
I still can't believe it, though, is this for real?
