The post just before this one, "it's been a while, crocodiles," reads so stupid, too optimistic and naive compared to this sobering one…
Moreover, have you ever seen or read a blog post about someone no longer doing The World Race? I haven't since I started obsessively reading WR blogs in October 2011 nearly everyday. Why is that? And I really want to. Not everyone accepted into the WR actually ends up launching or even going to Training Camp. Unfortunately, I'm one of those people. Fantastic. Failure at its finest.
So, this is it. My WR blog here will no longer continue after next weekend, and I won't have access to it anymore.
I wonder what it was…or is.
- Did people not believe in me going or question my faith/true intentions?
- Did I not pray hard or long enough?
- Should I have fundraised harder and annoyed people with constant FB statuses to prayfully and financially support me?
- Was I disillusioned that God would really have me travel the world to advance His Kingdom?
- Am I not spiritually developed enough to tackle on such an enormous endeavor?
- Or is it simply God never wanted me to go in the first place? Then why did I get accepted?
I've been struggling to fundraise the finances for this journey. Stagnant at $1,995. As you can imagine, it's not easy asking people to financially help send me around the globe for Jesus and sharing my faith, something I've never really done before which needs improvement.
There is probably a hidden blessing in all of this. I was reading my Bible a couple nights ago (the Message translation) and this is what God said in Matthew 10.5-8:
Jesus sent his twelve harvest hands out with this charge: "Don't begin by traveling to some far-off place (the World Race) to convert unbelievers. And don't try to be dramatic by tackling some public enemy. Go to the lost, confused people right here in the neighborhood (Dallas-Fort Worth). Tell them that the kingdom is here. Bring health to the sick. Raise the dead. Touch the untouchables. Kick out the demons. You have been treated generously, so live generously."
So, there you go. God told me not to go on the World Race and stay in DFW…which I was kinda sensing since two months ago. Disappointed, a bit disbelieved and surprised to say the least. Before this new year, I really thought The World Race was the next chapter for me. I really did and wanted it to be. MAYBE I'll go next year. 2014. I don't know. I already bought my $200 backpack and a few other gear while mentally preparing for this excursion. But, I intend to be obedient to what He revealed to me although now I feel trapped here in Dallas-Fort Worth. Then again, there's that saying "Bloom where you're planted," and I have yet to do that here, so that's what God and I are working on.
And most importantly, I want to say thank you to all of you who supported me. Your names are in a previous blog post (I definitely know and remember who you are), and there are you who have given to me in person as well. I feel bad and guilty that you faithfully gave, and I'm now not going. I really appreciate you taking the time and finances to support me. Even though your donations are non-refundable, they will still be put to good use helping my squadmates on the field. The World Race within Adventures in Missions is a great organization to sow seeds into, and your financial support will not go to waste.
I may or may not post a Part II, but in case I don't…I really like these kinds of graphics so I'll end it with this. It applies to both me and you.
P.S. I have a few pieces of gear I'm not gonna need anymore so if you want 'em, feel free to ask.
- a green Osprey Waypoint 85 liters with an attachable daypack
- Exfficio black underwear – size small
- Steripod toothbrush sanitizer (2 in a pack) they last 3 months each
- a GoToob 3 oz (look at it on REI's website)
All you need to pay for is shipping via Paypal if you want the Osprey pack. For pics, you can email me for more pics if you want more details/specifics.
Since I'll no longer be posting on this blog, check out coily brown by grace. The WordPress blog is in the works. Writing and maintaining a blog is not easy.
