My last post, as uninformative as it was, was the honest truth. Transformation has been happening but the description was hard to conglomerate as a whole. I did not really know how to characterize what I’ve been trudging through for the last couple of months and I have had quite a few run ins with a tied tongue in the fascinating field of self expression. Funny thing is, I have been trying to reach from the source of my previous heart heavy cascades and did not think that with change would come a new form of poignant communication and I definitely didn’t expect what has all so recently showed up.
A few of the visiting professors have brought something new to the table this term: true individualistic outpourings of passion.We have had a few assignments to actually get us to write the truth that is lying upon all of our hearts (presentations, poetry, psalms etc.) and I have become so inclined to start writing on my own terms. It’s not like I am sitting around, constantly crying and scrawling everything I am feeling but it seems more that the pulse of my own spirit is really starting to shape it’s rhythm and isn’t shy to show its face. It’s weird to say, but the more I write, the more free I become and the more I really start to understand the poetry of Christ’s heart for me. I don’t really know what to do other than run with it… so this is just a short example of something that burst forth the other day.
Why would you choose to rescue me?
I am but a loud gulp that resounds so loud in my mind but is so quite to you.
My heart is one of such desperation- my hands are held out so high and my arms do their best to stretch farther than they can reach
I shake knowing just how much you know about me
I quiver knowing that I will never again have to question the state of my security in you
It’s insane to know that I don’t ever need to worry again
Because your arms are wrapped around me
And there is no place safer for me to be
You look into my eyes and mine swell with tears as I never want to run from this place
And I don’t want to seek refuge in another life
And I don’t want to slide into comfort and lose the fantastic challenges of romance
Just hold me- please don’t let me go.
I will share some more soon. Something new is being brought to light.
