I don’t know if you’ve figured it out yet but I’M IN SPAIN! I’ve been here for a couple of days and I’m pretty excited about it. I’m on a new continent, in an awesome house and best of all- I’m finally back in community. I know that this is exactly where the Lord wants me to be right now but I’ve got to tell you, getting here was extremely challenging.
When I posted my last blog I was really struggling with the realization that my future was really upon me. The small world I’ve been living in and the big world I’ve been dreaming about seemed like they were both about to collide with one another. This new season in Spain is designed to bring radical love and thunderous truth into the reality of my calling and it was really making me nervous. To be completely raw, I didn’t know if I could wholeheartedly trust God to provide for my passion and set it into motion.
These ideas seemed like an ocean that I was going to start drowning in. I really invested heavily into praying and almost became ponderous with how much I was thinking about the consequences of my complete and total trust in the Lord. I was so scared… but I wasn’t really scared of anything worth being scared of. I was so worried that I couldn’t do it. I was so nervous that I wasn’t capable. I I I I I… what about Him?
My self had gotten to the front lines, satan had clouded my vision and I was relying and looking in every direction except within and up. God was missing from my equation and I mostly saw Him as an outside factor in the life and stirring that He gave me. I looked beyond Him instead of trusting Him and His seat right in front of me. I let my state of panic and nerves take the driver’s seat and really almost forgot to let Christ be everything in my life.
As I now sit here in this seat in Europe in a new place for the next six months, I ask that you really pray for my mind to be so sanctified and comforted by resting in the here and now. I don’t want to be afraid and I don’t want to get so lost in the future that I forgot to let Jesus be my all and truly put a lamp unto my feet. I need all of you to pray for me and I want to pray for all of you. You are more of a part of this than you will ever know and my blogs only give me a glimpse of how so much of your love got me here today.
On the hillside of Mijas, Andalucia, Spain!
