The closer and closer I get to the different deadlines I have for the Race, the more nervous I get. It's so incredibly easy to question where the money is going to come from or what you can do to make it yourself.
That's not the question here. That's not where the problem lies. Honest? That's a source of doubt. It's in these moments I feel the enemy stronger than ever before, taking whatever ounce of worry I have and turning into this perpetual feeling in the back of my head. Sure, this is my first big shot at support raising, but that doesn't really make a difference at the end of the day. God is doing phenomenal things in my life and I have no reason to doubt His power.
I don't really know where to begin-
Within the past couple weeks, I have felt God speaking into my heart and my life in tremendous ways. My current living situation, the people I interact with on a daily basis, the tiny blessings who are speaking into my life, are all bringing me back to the awesome realization of the power of my almighty God.
A little over a week ago, I had a conversation with someone that rocked my world. It brought me to my knees in a sense, realizing how many moments in my life I had swept under the rug (for lack of a better term). There were moments I was carrying guilt or shame for that I simply chose not to take up with God. It was easier to move forward than to look back. I'm sure you can relate. After spending a solid week distracted from every other aspect of my life thinking about these things, I came to a conclusion as to how to handle them.
I spent a long time in prayer, talking to God about every aspect of just what I'd been avoiding. I was looking forward to a weekend in the Poconos with good fellowship to really let go of everything. Seeking councel, I had talked to Ashley, my campus minister's wife, and realized that I would need a more tangible way to let go. Had there been some defining moment in my life, things would be different, but I had just been harboring everything inside for quite some time. My solution? Burn it. Leave my sorrows in the Poconos (after settling them with God of course). I wrote everything down, every excruciating detail, and set the papers aflame. With tremendous gratitude to Ashley and Greg, but above all else, God, I wiped my tears and rejoined the festivities.
Last weekend was nothing short of liberating. I've never felt so cleansed. Sure, I'm still struggling with things every now and then, but knowing that I've squared everything away with God… I've been set free from the chains I had personally shackled myself within. I can't describe the feeling.
So I sit here now, nine days from my deadline and I've no idea where the money is going to come from. I have to find comfort in this right now, knowing that God's economy is not the same as ours and that my God is an awesome mighty God. He will provide.
A little glimpse of the retreat [:
Ashley & Greg at the top of the mountain.
The boys during some down time between activities. Those stilts created some interesting moments.
Ash rockin' breakfast for 22 people.
Worship and fellowship in the evening.
Yeah.. this is what happens when you're waiting to get started.
This picture represents Pslam 55:22- The Message translation. Share the love.
The whole group. ACF Retreat 2011. <3
If you would like to partner with me and help me finish this race, you have a few options. First and foremost, please keep my team and me in your prayers consistently over the next several months as we embark on journeys we cannot begin to imagine in the here and now.
Second, you can support me financially through a few different venues. The best way to support me is through monthly donations and the easiest way to set that up is through www.adventures.org/dynapay. Otherwise, you can always click the "Support Me" button on the lefthand side of the main page of my blog. This option takes 5% for processing fees (unlike using dynapay). If you would like to donate by check (another option without processing fees), just send me your information and I'll send you my support card.
I know God is behind me on this. I'm certain of it. I just need your support along the way.
Remember 2 Cor. 5:17
