(Written 1/23/14)
Tonight was special. Every day in Honduras has been beautiful, each with its own set of beautiful joys and beautiful trials. But tonight was different – one of those evenings so filled with love and light and good and God that when you realize you’re in one, you don’t want out; one of those nights where time slows to a crawl and the immensity of beauty feels weighty; one of those nights where you see a tiny glimpse of true love and you’re astounded by its constant presence, its steadfastness, its incorruptibility.
Heart of Christ is a ministry that serves young mothers who are victims of rape and incest, as well as other victims of special crimes and special needs situations. Today was just a normal day on the construction rotation, priming and painting within the compound. My team loves construction days because we all work well together, we have fun with whatever we do, and we love to see the progress we can make in a day. But The Lord really started working in my heart later this evening.
I was standing around before dinner talking to some of my squad mates and playing with the toddlers when one of the young mothers who lives at Heart of Christ asked me if I would watch her 14 month old daughter while she helped prepare and serve dinner. I scooped her up and carried her around and rocked her. She fell asleep in my lap while I ate my grilled cheese sandwich (That’s right – grilled cheese on the Race. Sweet manna from Heaven). After I finished, I carried her outside to recline in a chair with her so her mother could eat dinner. I sat with her curled up on my chest – this little person whose mellow nature, chubby cheeks and big, beautiful eyes were intricately crafted by her loving Heavenly Father. In that moment, I felt so overwhelmed with love for this child. Even though she’s not my own and I’ve only known her for a few short weeks, I love her. I began singing to her and stroking her hair. I told her that she is beautiful, that she is so special, she is radiant, she brings joy, she is a treasured gift, and that Jesus loves her so much. She was sound asleep and can’t understand very much Spanish, much less English, but I just had to speak truth and sing praises over her regardless. She needs to hear that even if her life started in abuse, neglect, objectification and violence, she was fearfully and wonderfully made. God makes no mistakes and has no slip-ups. His plan is perfect and He loves her wildly.
As I was singing and captivated by the beauty of this little soul, I glanced up and saw one of the most breathtaking night skies I have ever laid eyes on. The stars hung so apparently low you could almost reach out and touch them, each one shining a spotlight on the immensity and power of my Lord. I can’t even describe the beauty of that moment – holding this lovely creature and beholding this lovely creation.
And that’s when I realized it – that the amount of love I feel for this child is massively incomparable to the love the Father has when He holds me. The words of truth, worth, purpose and beauty that I whisper over her are His own to me. I saw them strung in the sky – in the stars that shine at the very sound of His voice. I heard them in her peaceful, relaxed breaths. I felt them deep in my bones. You are here, Lord, and Your love for me is relentless.
Sometimes The Lord speaks in whispers. Sometimes He shouts in mighty, rushing winds. I make it my ambition this year to hang on to every word. Open up your eyes and your ears and your heart and receive the reminders of love He is sending you through something as simple as starry nights and sleeping babes.
Thanks for your prayers, support, blog comments and emails, friends. You all bless me and love me so well. We head to Guatemala on Friday! Already have one month down! Whoa! Crazy! Pray for us as we travel and for C-Squad as we’re all together next month. Thanks, family. I appreciate you so much!
All my love,
Bre
