Half Way
In less than one week we will be traveling to Cambodia. I find it hard to believe we have reached the half-way point of The World Race. A year ago, I never would have thought that this would be my life. The whole experience has been truly amazing. Lately, I have been giving a lot of thought to how my life was last year. It was about this same time last year that my life started to completely fall apart.
It’s such a heavy thing to think back across this last year. Everything I held dear was being pulled away from me and I felt powerless to do anything about it as I found myself fighting for my marriage of 10 years. The worst realization was that no matter what I did to save my marriage, or how much I was committed to making things work, I could not control the choices of another person. I felt completely abandoned. I had poured myself into someone so special to me and I felt like she just left without ever looking back. Even as I write this my heart still pangs within me over everything that transpired.
Divorce…how could it happen?…how did it happen?…I NEVER thought this would be the position I would find myself in, but this is where I am today. I find myself sitting in the middle of Thailand watching the most amazing sunset as I write this blog…this is also a place I never thought I would be. As I look back over the year the one thing that stands out to me the most is God’s faithfulness in my life and His goodness to me. I feel as though I have grown more in this past year than any other time in my life. I am not the same man was, I am stronger.
Ruined for normal…that’s how I feel. During this past chapter of my life I felt as though I had a chance to experience “The American dream". Something within me longs for so much more, but something else has always kept me from walking into that something more…fear. I have come to see that fear has managed to control so much of my life and my decisions. It has worked its way into every aspect of my life. I am tired of living that way. With this new chapter of life before me I want to live without fear as my compass. So why do I write all of this? It’s a proclamation. I refuse to believe the lies of the enemy any longer, to live by fear any more. It’s a deleariaion.
What does the future hold on the other side of The World Race? I feel a compelling desire within me to return to the nations and be on the front lines of bringing the good news of Christ to all those who don’t know Him. As of now, I don’t know what that may look like. Before I do anything, I will be spending some long overdue time with my family. I can’t wait!! One thing I have come to realize on the race is that I am made for greatness in the kingdom of God. I am going to start living that way.
We all have different callings in life and if you are in Christ then you should know that He has designed you with a purpose. Tomorrow is not a guarantee; all we truly have is today. Will you use this day to start believing the truth? You also were made for greatness in the kingdom of God. Will you make a declaration? My prayer is that you too will experience this truth and start truly living each day. “All men die but few men truly live”.
Serving Him
Billy
