Gut Wrenching Truth (Part 2)

If you have not read “Gut Wrenching Truth (Part 1) please read it first by clicking HERE. 

 

So I have processed the fact that yes, the Lord has given me the gifts of prophecy and intercession.  Now what? 

 

All day I have been wrestling with the next phase in this incredible thing God is doing in my heart and my life.  The one question that comes to my mind more than anything else right now is, “Why me, Lord?”

And I went back to Exodus 3-4 where the Lord calls Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.  The Lord says, “So now, go.  I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.  But Moses said to God, ‘Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?’ And God said, ‘I will be with you.'” (3:10-12)  Later, in chapter 4 (10-13) Moses says to the Lord, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant.  I am slow of speech and tongue. The Lord said to him, ‘Who gave man his mouth?  Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

 

I feel like Moses.  I keep finding myself asking the Lord, “Why have you chosen me to carry this burden?  Why are you breaking MY heart in crazy ways?  Why did you decide to give ME the gift of prophecy and intercession?  More than all those questions, I have found myself telling the Lord, “Lord, I knew you were going to use me on the Race, but the ways in which you intend to use me are becoming a LOT bigger than I had ever imagined! (I mean..yeah I figured I would feed some orphans, and other such things, but really God….HEALING people?  PROPHECYING over people?  RAISING THE DEAD?  Telling THOUSANDS gathered in one place about Jesus and seeing ALL or MOST of them come and receive the LORD?  CASTING OUT DEMONS? Really God? You really intend to use ME to do all those things?” 

 

I guess Im just having trouble putting my mind around the magnitude of HOW God is REALLY gonna use me! 

 

Just the other night my Pastor was preaching on gifts.  And one thing he said really hit home, as I was struggling with these gifts.  He said, “Stop being someone your not and be who you are in Jesus!  Our gifts are grace gifts!  God didn’t OWE it to you, you didn’t EARN it! He GAVE it to you.”  Then, he gave an example.  He said, “Have you ever given someone a gift that you spent a lot of time and energy on?  A gift that you REALLY thought they would love and accept, and you were SO excited to give it to them?  And then when they open it, they don’t seem very excited…as if they maybe don’t like it?  Has that ever happened to you?  How did that make you feel?  Can you imagine how God must feel when He gives us a gift and we want something else?”

 

Romans 12:4-6

“Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.  We have different gifts, according to the GRACE GIVEN us.  If a man’s gift is prophecying; let him us it in proportion to his faith.”

 

My thoughts and feelings are best summed up by this well known movie quote:

 

Frodo: I cannot do this alone.
Galadriel: You are a Ring-bearer, Frodo. To bear a Ring of Power is to be alone.
[pulls out her hand]
Galadriel: This is Nenya, the Ring of Adament. And I am it’s keeper. This task was appointed to you, and if you do not find a way, no one will.
Frodo: I know what I must do, it’s just that… I’m afraid to do it.
Galadriel: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.