Life is a funny thing. Funny because I’ve been living something spoken in month 2 of my race. Trust the process, they said. It will be good, they said. It will be an adventure, they said.
Listen, real talk, here people. Post race life looks nothing like I thought it would. I thought I was going to have gone on the race, figure out not only my passions but also my purpose, then come back to America and start immediately working toward the vision God gave me. From where I stand now, I can look back at that pre-race me and chuckle.
God didn’t give me short film of how the rest of my life would play out in a dream on the last night of the race like I thought He would. Probably because if He had, I would have been too overwhelmed and afraid to even take a step. But Pi Emmi in Thailand spoke truth when she said “it’s easier for God to direct an object in motion.”
Sometimes God doesn’t tell us where to go, He just says “Go” and gives a quick little pat on the bottom as we step out (see Genesis 12:1) and promises to direct our steps.
While this sounds great in theory, in my mind’s eye I see myself with my little rucksack on a stick slung over my shoulder, looking back at God scratching my head in confusion and scared to death of the wide world in front of me and the comfort I just apparently left behind. (It’s worth mentioning here that something I found to be true time and time again on the Race, and in life in general, is that when I step out, God doesn’t stay behind. He steps with us, every single time if we let Him.)
“Wait, I didn’t hear where you said to go, Lord!”
But go I did as I got swept up in the great adventure of the Race. And I’m still going I suppose. But now my going looks real weird. Really different from any “going” I’ve ever done before.
“Go” right now, looks like staying. and waiting. and resting. and digging into some of the issues in my heart I’ve managed to avoid for 24 years. And waiting on the Lord. And gardening with my landlords even though I’ve successfully killed every plant I’ve ever owned. And waiting on the Lord. And organizing people’s homes even though I still have stuff in boxes from 4 months ago. And reading books and worshiping by myself in the apartment God provided for me. And waiting on the Lord until I think I’m going to go CRAZY.
But there is something I’ve heard over and over again from sermons, podcasts and friends in this season. That is while the thing I’m waiting on is important, what God is doing in me now is equally as important. God is building something in me now that I’ll need later. This might be faith, it might be patience, dreams, resting, could be anything really. So, I’m choosing to trust the process, trust in His timing, not because it’s fun or will get me where I think I need to be, but because He’s building something in me and I trust Him. I may not know exactly what that thing is, but I know it’s gonna be good, because it’s a good God who is building it.
