This day of camp was focused on grief journaling. Until I allow the Lord to heal my heart, will I be used to bring healing to others.
Our grief journaling task: Write a letter to the Lord based on 3 or 4 times in your life, answering these questions:
-What great pains have I suffered?
-How did I feel?
-What have been the consequences?
-Where were You in this?
-What do I have to do to move on?
This activity was an amazing time of release. It started with the Lord prompting me to seek out a leader, Karen to pray for me. She received a vision of a classroom door being closed, myself walking down the hallway (representing the World Race journey) then leading to a new door that did not have a floor, but in it all I was just dancing with the Lord trusting His leading.
This spoke to the core of me.
My first letter was about grieving the loss of my job. I realized my identity was found in my job. I felt secure and believed in my abilities because of my success in my job. I had control in my job. This brokenness needed to be surrendered.
When I asked the Lord to reveal where He was in this situation-of closing the door to teaching. He gave me a vision of Himself standing at my classroom door calling me into the hall. I felt such peace seeing Him standing at the doorway. I trusted His plan. I surrendered my future to Him—trusting to look at Him, not behind or ahead of me.
At the end of this activity, I asked the Lord to speak to me things that I needed to hear. “Beth, rest with me, my lovely daughter. Trust in my ways. Don’t you know I have good for you? Don’t you know I designed you? You are precious—you are gold. Trust me in the fires of refinement. Let me mold you. Sit with me. Be still.”
