I wanted to see God heal people this year but was a little skeptical. I definitely didn’t think the first healing I witnessed would be my own.
My left eye has been watering since October. It wasn’t a big deal but it didn’t go away. After about a month, I noticed the corner of my eye was sensitive and figured I had a blocked tear duct. With my transition out of the AF and the sequestration, which prevented civilians to work in the base clinics, I couldn’t get an appointment to check it out. It was annoying but not a big deal. When I was home in Ohio in December, my eye doctor managed to squeeze me in, confirmed the blocked duct, gave me a prescription for eye drops and said to follow up if it didn’t get better in a week. If the drops didn’t work, I may need minor surgery to clear the blockage. After the holidays, my eye was still watering and now there was pressure around my sinuses on that side. I was leaving for launch in Atlanta and called my doctor. He called in a new antibiotic to a pharmacy in Atlanta so I could bring it with me. After a few days, the pain was getting worse but it wasn’t too bad and I had other things to think about. I was leaving for Honduras!
The first Saturday night in Honduras we had a worship service at the mission. The pressure was so painful around my eye I had a hard time focusing. My devotion that morning said if we kept repeating the same concerns in prayer, we essentially just kept worrying and instead, we should thank God for the answer He had in the works. I prayed for God to relieve the pain so I could worship. I told Him I was going to worship whether He healed me or not. I thanked Him for the healing that He would provide, however and whenever He would provide it. By the end of the night, I was exhausted from dealing with it with no relief. Two girls from my team prayed over me and I immediately felt relief. The pressure was still there but not nearly as intense. The next day we went to the mall in Tegucigalpa. The pressure from my eye hurt from the middle of my forehead to the bottom of my cheekbone. It hurt to touch my cheek or anywhere near my left eye. I took some Aleve and Sudafed and the pain eased most of the day but kicked back up as the time neared to go back to La Ermita.
It was wearing me down and I was starting to worry about what might come next. Would I need to have surgery on my eye in Honduras? That was not on my list of to-dos. I thought of things that could go wrong, what God might have in store for me in each of the different scenarios I came up with. I’m so dramatic. I dismissed the thoughts and just tried to pray and trust God.
During team time that night, I asked for prayer for my eye. It had been such a distraction the past two days. I didn’t want it to distract me from village ministry today. We prayed and then went to bed. I woke up around 2:30am and noticed right away that my eye felt better: there was no gunk, no pressure, no dry tears. I said another prayer and went back to sleep. I woke a few more times and each time immediately noticed how different my eye felt. When I got up this morning, my eye was completely healed! It feels completely normal. There is zero pressure, no sensitivity to touch and I have not had to wipe one tear from my eye all day. It’s the first time in almost three months!
I’m not really sure what to make of it. I keep thanking God and I don’t want to make light of this huge blessing. At the same time, I don’t want to seem as though I didn’t trust Him to heal me. I don’t know. I know He loves his children and doesn’t want us sick or hurt. I also know that He could allow this to go on or turn out a different way. I don’t know why He blessed me in this way at this time.
I was talking to Miranda and Rita about how I wanted to see healings and the Holy Spirit move this year but wasn’t used to that and was unsure and kind of skeptical. Then before I knew it, I said, “it’s hard to doubt that He heals, when He’s healed you.” So maybe that’s it. Maybe He doesn’t want me to doubt other people’s stories of healing. Maybe He wants me to quit being so skeptical and learn to trust Him, His power and His timing.
