This week has been full of changes. As of tomorrow I will have been to six countries in a week. Six. That in and of itself is insanity, granted the majority of them have only been for a few short hours or days. Nonetheless, six countries in a week is fairly impressive, I’d say. I’m only a little disappointed that I didn’t get passport stamps in two of them, but when that baby stamp costs a good $40 USD, one just doesn’t make the effort.
This time last week I was having a feedback with my team, EQV, that was hard, but one of the most real feedbacks we have had in the history of our team (though that’s only three-ish months). I was holding back tears of frustration and absolute exhaustion. If I could describe the last month with my team in one scenario for you it would be this: repeatedly running full force into a sturdy brick wall with my face. It has felt like we can get nowhere. No matter how hard we try, we cannot find the unity then depth spiritually that we desire so much to have on this Race. And let me assure you that we tried pretty much everything. It’s felt so hard to be unified after all we’ve been through as a team. Conflict typically breeds intimacy, but the divides our conflicts caused between us grew instead of shrinking and none of us tried hard enough to fix that for everyone else to be satisfied. It was rough. I was stretched to new levels. I was also frustrated and exhausted to new levels. God took me way beyond what I thought my normal strength could handle. Don’t get me wrong, I love each of the members of EQV so very much – even those I didn’t form lasting relationships with over our time together as a team. God used each of them to stretch me, grow me, and help me realize a lot of things I need to work on. Scripture says iron sharpens iron and that’s what happened on our team. I also came to the realization of what I actually want in a team, family, and community.
The past few days in HK we haven’t spent much time together. We’ve honestly all been so desperate for an escape from the turmoil of our team that we’ve not spent any time together, or at least I have felt that way and have run quickly to the rest God has provided here. While all of these team things have been weighing heavily on my mind I’ve also been thinking intentionally about the changes happening in our squad. As you all know (or maybe you don’t), our squad leaders are only on the Race with us through month four. At that point new squad leaders are raised from within the squad to take their place. This is an awesome example of empowerment and stepping out in faith to allow God’s calling and will to be enacted in the most beneficial way possible. Well, the time is now. Not only have our new squad leaders been announced, but Ben and A-Rex also told us they feel that God wants them to stay on with us through month five in the Philippines. I’m excited to spend more time getting to know them and pouring into them as they pour into us. Our new SLs are Jamie, Jonathan, and Kelsey. I couldn’t be more excited and more at peace with this leadership. They are already incredible people of integrity and are after God’s heart. They are in Kingdom business and are Kingdom focused. I love each one so specifically and I’m pumped to see how God uses them to empower the rest of the squad to greater things in Him!
Because of this we’ve had several team changes as well. By several I mean all the teams changed because that’s how we do it on I-squad. We make things happen for e’rybody. My new team is BALLIN’. They are Kristi (aka Bezy aka Team Leader), Ashley B, the Bens (both of them), Caitlin, Meredith, and myself. We’re the hipster team of the squad, to be honest. We’re all original and quirky in our own ways and I love it. We’ve named ourselves Team Yebo. Yebo means “yes” in Siswati and it’s part of our entire squad’s daily lingo (which might end up being a bad thing in some eastern European countries, but that’s another breeze to shoot on another day). So basically we’re saying yes to a lot of things – on the more serious side are things like unity, team relationships, whatever God has planned for us, and owning our faith. On a more lighthearted note we’re saying yebo to having fun, wearing flannel, making up a team dance, having adventures, and so much more. I’m excited – more excited concerning teams than I have been ever. It is good.
God is good.
He is so faithful to complete works that He’s spoken over us. He’s also faithful when we are faithless – and He surely knows I was without faith and hope at the end of last month. He also knows what’s best for us – whether that’s a time of stretching and exhaustion or a time of empowerment and restoration. He tears down the walls of Jericho to rebuild the walls of His Promised Land. That’s scriptural, y’all. He was so faithful to the Israelites in tearing down and rebuilding to glorify Himself. It’s a beautiful process and I’m so stoked to be in on it.
We’re headed to month four sometime after I post this and we won’t have internet so don’t expect to hear anything from me until sometime after New Year’s. In the meantime, enjoy your peppermint mochas and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Don’t forget to take tons of pictures and I’d still love to have some emails in my inbox from you for me to read in a month. Actually, that would overjoy me. So please, write me some if you get a chance. More than that, pray earnestly for my squad. We are desperate to be unified and to function as one body as Christ has called us. We’re walking into territory that is so full of divisive strongholds and we are all so aware that if we aren’t absolutely intentional we will be affected by those strongholds. We’re desperate for your prayers, my friends, absolutely desperate. We’ve all just changed teams and continents and our next ministries will definitely be full of challenges and obstacles. I’m convinced that this month without social media and emails will be good for us – to grow more intimately with each other, but most importantly with God. We’ll be able to put Him first on a deeper level and everything else will fall into place, but I’m also sure Satan will plant other things to distract and divide us along the way. Our God is greater, though. Thank you all so much for your encouragement and your love over the past few months. I can’t begin to explain how God has put each of you so heavily on my heart. I have such an incredible community here on the Race AND back home which is so much more than most people have. Guys, I am so richly, richly blessed and so thankful. Know that I’m praying for you guys intentionally and loving you so much. I can’t wait to share more of this journey with you and tell you how God and His Word are so alive. Oh by the way, thanks to a few absolutely incredible and generous donations, I have reached my goal of $11,000! God is ridiculous in the ways that He moves!
p.s. I’m SO stinking excited to hold all these babies when I get home! I’m sorry I’ve missed cooking for everyone, but I’ll babysit when I get home to be sure.
