For years there has been a deep groan in my being compelling me to come alive. With each step forward, I've found myself venturing further and further into death…or at least the shadow of it. Yet, I stand today fearing no evil. I know His faithfulness. I hear His voice and it comforts me. I've been sucked into a whirlwind of His goodness and trust that He'll set me down in pastures of refreshing…but how did I get here? Those of you who have followed me and walked with me for years already know. Those of you who are new to my blog, here's a taste…
I grew up in a Christian home and earnestly desired God from childhood. I was your perverbial "nice guy" who hadn't quite found my backbone yet but enjoyed loving people. I was a part of most every clique and none through high school as I basked in His sunshine and favor. People liked me and I liked them. Really, it was a pretty good fit. However, the deep stirrings just kept getting deeper.
I took my wounds of inadequacy to college where I slowly started to have eyes to see my pride, selfishness, need to be right, and judgmentalism. I entered a pit of mud that took every bit of striving I had to wade through my entitlements, perceptions, and assumptions. Some of you were along for the messy ride as I lived by my illiusion of control and leaned on both my strength and understanding.
I stood amidst the obstacles and foes every man must invade and set my face as flint to become a conquerer…maybe even more! My intentions were commendable, my strategies suitable and my resolve was admirable. I stood at the edge of my jungle ill-equiped for the paths I was about to forge and the naievity to press forward. The magnificent mystery of being alive extinguished the fear of the unknown as I started hacking a path towards freedom.
Little did I know that while my intentions were good, my paradigm was amiss. I knew that the path to life led through death…but I didn't KNOW it…I just knew of it.
Regardless, it was time to step so I stepped.
