It turns out I’ve got a lot on my mind that I’d love to process with you and I’m hoping to get to blogging more in the near future starting now. I’ve been quite busy pulling tons of hours at work but I’m needing a bit more balance in the time-management side of my life so I’m hopeful this will stick. As a side note, I plan on telling you more about the trip in January that we’re blazing along with more about the guys going…also, I want to give some credit to Anth Chapman in the UK who through his sermons online has sparked a path to truth that I’ve been eating up lately.
Because…
We all have one…most likely many.
Because that’s the way it’s always been done.
Because it’s never been done before…
Because my dad _______________ me…
Because no one cared…
Because I was victimized when_____________ happened to me.
Because I can’t stand rejection….again.
Because I hate the way I look…feel…think…
Because he said _______________ about me..
Because I have the strength to go through it…
Because I just can’t do it on my own anymore…
Because there are starving kids in Africa…
Because I’m insecure…
BECAUSE…
The “because(s)” in your life affect more of your choices and reactions than you probably realize. It’s the source of what often truly drives you to do the things you do, to say the things you say and to become the person you strive to become. I think we’d all be amazed at how much it affects us. Even just thoughts multiply into actions which turn into habits which become lifestyle and a portion of the foundation we put our identity in.
The last years of my life I’ve often felt like a kid going through puberty trying to learn a dance of faith…I’ve been drawn and led into some interesting choices. I’ve been in about 30 countries and 40 states in the past five years doing all sorts of things. My heart has ached and changed and stretched in more ways than I can express…and yet there is still an awkward yearning inside of me that knows He’s not even close to done with me…
I think back to when this yooper (kid from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan) went from about 99% white in a unique culture to Dakar Senegal with millions of people in about a 99.8% saturation of Muslims…that was a bit of a shock to my system and there was no way to prepare for that…yet I was compelled to walk by faith into that situation. My time there changed me.
I then decided to pull the ultimate switch and went from millions of Africans near the Equator to 450 Native Aleut’s on St. Paul Island near the arctic and hundreds of miles from civilization…You can’t plan for that kind of step either but I was compelled forward and through a pruning year, learned much more about intimacy and rest…This year changed me as well.
The ball had been rolling with countries and so I just kept going and found myself on the world race heading to 25 countries (predominantly 11) to do “mission work” which really means “to learn more of my identity in Him and continue learning what it means to walk in that.” I can tell you that there are enough changes in a year like that to keep changing you. Sometimes it’s fine tuning. Other times it’s the old chainsaw coming to take off limbs. This year changed me as well.
Then with no money and no car but a few job opportunities (yet still no job) it was pressed heavily on my heart to be in Georgia. This soon turned into Haiti with still no money or car or job or much of anything else…yet I saw God provide in mind-blowing ways daily as He continued working on my foundation. He increased my capacity to love and drew me into His pursuit further. Undoubtedly, this changed me.
The last half year I’ve worked at Cedar Campus with college aged young men and women and now in a warehouse with a bunch of outstanding young guys with big hearts…some who seem pretty lost and others who know how to love others pretty well…I’ve seen His faithfulness and He’s been restoring me after being pretty tired. He’s also started me down some paths I haven’t quite walked before that are leading me into freedom…This is changing me.
Soon I will be taking another step forward in faith. Miles, a friend from the race, and I will be leading a group of 3 guys (5 of us total) to India and Nepal. This won’t be your normal missions trip and we’ve already got some resistance which doesn’t really surprise me. We’re hoping to leave in less than a month and we have definite plans under way. We don’t have the money or resources to go yet but ironically I’m more confident this is the next step than I was with any of the previous ones. How God will provide is a mystery to me but I sit here with no angst because I have given my life to Him and He’s leading me currently on a path that will be blessed with being able to see some amazing young men walk in greater freedom and faith! I’m sure these next months will change me once again…
Today, I look at a world map and my eyes don’t see countries. They see faces. They see stories. My heart aches for those I know…also for those I’ve seen and don’t know…and those I imagine. My heart breaks for situations people are in…cultures are in…countries are in…and I’m moved, yet I stand still and let it wash over me.
The thing about having a “because” in your life is that if stays the same, so will your life. It’s the roots in the garden of your life. Your circumstances will change and the effect will look different, but your life will stay on the same path. A victim will always find a way to be the victim. A victor will always find a way to become victorious. A lover will always find a way to love. A competitor will always find a way to compete. Someone insecure will always find something to be insecure about…UNLESS…
unless you change your “because.”
I can think of some of the “becauses” that have impacted my life…
because I was liked as a person by most…
because I was loved by my family…
because I felt inadequate…
because after all my efforts, I still wasn’t enough for her…
because I love sports and do well at them…
because I think I know a lot…
because I grew up in a family that struggles with pride..
because I rely on my personality sometimes more than discipline…
because I’m obedient…
because I wanted to sometimes stand out…
because I wanted to become a man…
because I’ve had starving, mamed children look me in the eye and ask for help…
because I’ve walked among trash heaps in multiple countries larger than my college campus…
because I’ve been involved with spiritual warfare in the form of tangible demons…
because I’ve had to try to convince 3rd graders to stop drinking, smoking and chewing…
because people count on me…and some even follow…
because I’ve held orphans that have never been named…just been neglected…
because I’ve had street children fall asleep on my chest for the night on a sidewalk…
because I’ve been thankful for my supper of one piece of bread and some peanut butter…
because I’ve traveled days straight with malaria…
because a young prostitute against her will in Thailand was raped and now she works hard to gain money to get her child out of it…
because I’ve gone longer than you’d care to know without showering and not notice the smell…
because I’ve been blessed with so much…
because I believe Jesus is coming back soon…
because I want the American part of the bride to wake up…
because I desire violently to see men become men after God’s own heart…
because my days are short and I want to live them in full…
because I’ve had some crazy prophecies over my life…
because if I don’t, who will?
because you’ve taken the time to read this far…
because…
The list could go on for quite some time but each of these “becauses” have altered my life dramatically. Going on the race especially puts you in a bit of a whirlwind because there are so many causes worth giving your life to do something about…Honestly, this is probably the ultimate challenge to re-entry for most racers. There are so many things that have taken a piece of their heart or that draw parts of their heart that they never knew they had before. They want to be in action so much but not sure where their niche is or how to even start. It’s a transition where you come back to a home where everything has changed and quite literally it feels like nothing has…except that the things that didn’t satisfy you before you went JUST satisfy you less…
Each event that shapes us on our walk alters our because and that alters our life…
Yet, I’m finding the absolute ultimate because and I’ll take some blogs to get you hopefully to where I’m going…but it is this.
because He first loved me…
This the great because that can change my life and yours once and for all…In fact, it’s at the core of the new covenant. Jesus put it this way in John 15:12 “This is the command I give you: Love each other as I have loved you…”
Therefore, what I strive for is to learn how much He loves me and let that flow out of my life in my thoughts, actions and decisions…will this be an overnight change? Well, probably…but not just one overnight. I’ll have to learn better how to renew my mind daily but if my measurement for choices in my life stemmed out of BECAUSE HE LOVES ME…I’m pretty sure that whatever obstacles or circumstances come up, I’ll bring life into the situation…
How often do you sit in His presence just to saturate how much He truly delights in you?
When was the last time you thought about the fact that He designed you uniquely and thought it was such a great idea to go through with making you because you were a masterpiece of love to Him…and can’t wait for you to love Him back the way He loves you…
What is your because?
