So I know I haven’t written a blog like this in a while and I’m not really sure why, but oh well. I’m also not gonna try and go back and tell all that has happened since the last time I wrote a blog that was personal like this one.
I don’t know really where to start or what this blog is gonna say, but here we go.
Here lately, I have really been dealing with a lot. Most of which is just stuff that I have been dealing with for a long time, but am finally done with and just wanna see breakthrough. I know that can only come from the Lord and that there’s nothing I can do to bring that about, so I’m waiting patiently on Him to bring the breakthrough in my life. In the meantime, I just wanna live life and enjoy it.
Thats where it gets tricky. I have a very active mind and so sometimes I can’t quiet my mind which means I let myself jump to conclusions instead of really looking at whats true. That being said, I have let myself be curious and have asked a lot of questions of different things here lately, but am still having the problem of not jumping to conclusions. Most of this comes about when something unexpected happens and I immediately assume something and therefore jump to a conclusion about someone and most of the time pass some sort of judgment on them. I know this isn’t where I wanna be, but I also know that the Lord is purging me of this.
Something else is that whenever there’s tension between my brother Joshua and I, I always seem to be the one who has caused it or something like that. I’m really tired of being there as well. I haven’t bogged myself down in trying to find out why because thats what happens, I get bogged down and can’t move forward. I don’t want to be there either, I want to continually be moving forward.
Anyways, in this season, God surely is purging me of things that I don’t need in my life and its not the most pleasant process, but I need to be ok with this process. Thats something else I’m learning, being ok with the process that I have to go through.
Needless to say, this is definitely a tough season, but the Lord is faithful and I have seen a lot of good happening in this time as well. I have sensed a gifting in intercession, which is super cool and I also am really beginning to love what the Lord has gifted me in. I know that has been hard for me in the past, I always wanted what others were gifted in and never really saw the importance of what the Lord was gifting me in.
Along with all of this is the fact that I will be home in three weeks. I have no idea what I’m going to do immediately when I get home, but I know the Lord will provide whatever I need. I know that He will open the doors that need to be open and close the ones that need to be closed. I do know that in this next season of my life, the Lord just wants me to get to know Him more. He wants me to just simply stop trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do with my life and “where it is He wants me to go” and just know Him. He wants me to truly know Him as my Daddy and thats what I want. I wanna truly know Him as my Daddy and the love He has for me because thats how I will truly step into who I am and who He has created me to be.
He not only wants this for me, but for everyone one of ya’ll who are reading this blog. Allow yourself to truly feel His love and experience it. Let yourself go and dive into Him and let yourself truly get to know Him and what He has for you!
