“… Oh yea, by the way, you have two weddings to attend tomorrow.”
These are the words we were informed after dinner on Sunday night. It may seem last minute and strange to you, but after being on the World Race for 6 months, things like this are no longer surprising. Apparently we are taking a day off of teaching to attend a wedding.
So fast forward to Monday morning… 6am… We’re scarfing down French toast and getting our sarees on. A saree is a long piece of fabric commonly worn in Asian cultures that you wear by wrapping, tucking, and pinning together.
We are use to hiking and sweating here in Nepal, but not with 20 feet of fabric wrapped around and tripping you. To word it nicely, was extremely hard and uncomfortable. After a 30 minute hike in the rain, 25km ride crammed in a public bus, and 20 minute trek through a village, we finally arrived at the church. =) The trek there was long and random enough, so we had no idea what to expect for the rest of the day.
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The double Nepalese wedding went a little like this:
The guests packed in the church and overflowed outside. It started like a regular church service… with praise songs. The Grooms were seated in the font with the men on one side, and the women on the opposite. Everyone stood as the two Brides walked in one behind the other. Their faces were covered by veils and they sat on the women’s side, facing the Grooms. Neither one of them made eye contact or smiled. One of the brides was even sobbing for the whole next hour that the pastor preached. I couldn’t tell you what they were saying because it was all in Nepalese.
The couples came together in the middle and exchanged vows, as onlookers took pictures and jumped up to pop the balloons on the ceiling. After the exchange of vows, the groom lifted the Brides veil only to reveal a crying and frowning face. There was no kiss exchanged, simply the lifting of the veil. Then he chairs were moved so that the Newlyweds were sitting next to each other, facing us now. There was still no talking or smiling, and the bride was still crying.
After another hour of preaching, the two parties got together for pictures with guests while we moved outside to enjoy a spicy chicken and rice lunch. It was extremely awkward. Everyone was happy and celebrating EXCEPT the Bride and Groom. They weren’t even faking smiles for pictures.
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All that was running through my head was ‘Why are we here right now?’
If you haven’t put it together, this was an arranged marriage. With consent from the family, other people pray, vote, and decide who will wed within their own cast.
At the time of the ceremony, these newlyweds have only met once or twice. They do not talk or smile for the simple fact that they are timid. The woman cry sometimes because this day means she moves out and will no longer live with her parents. I guess you can’t blame her.
Wedding Crashers at a Nepalese Wedding Ceremony… Check
After lunch there was another round of preaching, and dancing (holding your neighbors hand, sway, and simultaneously throw it up in the air). We decided to leave after 5 solid hours of this. Apparently this cycle of Preaching/ Food/ Dance goes on late into the evening. By the end of the night, the Bride and Groom start to warm up to each other, talk a little, and hopefully crack a smile.
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Strange right?? – This is completely opposite from any American wedding I’ve ever experienced. The awkwardness was unexplainable, but this is what they do in some other cultures. To be blunt, statistics show that it works. These couples will grow to appreciate and love each other. In Nepal, divorce is extremely uncommon. In America, over half of marriages end in divorce. So who are we to judge?
Playing ‘wedding crasher’ today really opened my eyes to the reality of marriage around the world. I am extremely blessed to be able to choose my spouse for my own, but I also understand that arranged marriages are common practices and not necessarily a bad thing in the long run… But they definitely make for really uncomfortable ceremonies.
Shout out to some amazing friends and their weddings I missed back in the states this year:
John & Angie
Scott & Kelly
Ted & Marianna
I know you were all smiles on your wedding day! I’m bummed I could not be there and wish you a forever blessed marriage. Never take your love and decision to be together for granted. It is a truly wonderful thing to have the freedom to pick your spouse. =)
