God has laid this on my heart today. It’s hard for me to share, but when God asks, we must obey.
For the past two weeks I have been surrounded by people; not
necessarily people I know.
I went to the beach with one of my college roommates and her
parents. I also went to Nashville, TN to the Country Music Festival with my mom
and an old friend from growing up and her mom. But at each of these places,
there were tons of people there besides us; lots of women, young and old.
Each time I see a young girl, I can’t help but compare
myself to her. This is a fault I think many women face, not just my age.
I did this in elementary school when with my friends. I would
wish I could trade lives with them. I did this is middle school. I would try to
dress like the cool girls. I did this in high school. I did it in college and I
do it now. I talk with other women who do the same thing.
Why do we choose to bring comparison into our lives?
Sometimes it’s comparing looks, physical features, or hair. Sometimes
it’s clothes you have or how many things you own. Sometimes it’s how many guy friends
you have. Sometimes it’s comparing your relationship with God to others.
Mine lately is comparing outside appearance. I don’t like
it. I don’t like looking at a girl, then me, then them and thinking “she has
this, she’s better than me.” I don’t like seeing how they talk, smile, or laugh
and thinking, “I should laugh like that, she’s cute.”
I even notice how guys look at girls and compare if I get
the same reaction.
I hate it. I forget who I am in these moments. I forget that
these guys who I am trying to “look good for” wouldn’t compare to Jesus. I forget
that words like, “you’re gorgeous” coming from a guy who I met on the beach probably mean, “I want to get laid.” I forget that physical appearance means
nothing.
I forget that who I am in Jesus and what He thinks of me is
the only thing that matters. I forget that Jesus tells me I am beautiful every
day, but not because of the way I look. I forget that He is the one who brings
the smile to my face. I forget that Jesus is the one who I walk in confidence
with daily. I forget that He is the one who brings me grace and understanding.
I forget that He is the one who brings me peace. I forget that He created me
in his image.
I forget all these things which make me the girl I am today,
completely beautiful.
I don’t want to forget anymore. I don’t want to compare
anymore. I want to be free from this burden and chain of comparison. That’s
what God is going to break me from these next 3 weeks leading up to launch for
my Race.
Thank you Jesus for creating me to be me.
I pray whoever reads
this will recognize the chain of comparison in their life and break it off.
