As I rang in 2013 Cambodian style – aka: having multiple near death experiences in a Tuk-Tuk, engaging in a typical J Squad Dance Party, munching on steamed snails, and watching countdown on the big screen in a random square in Phnom Phen – I had plenty of time to reflect on the year I'd just completed. When I made my 2012 Bucket List, 26 items became priority in my life; among them, a) Be a size 10 by Christmas; b) Have an adventure every weekend; c) Learn to play harmonica… Sadly, none of them were incredibly God-focused goals. Fortunately, God is undeterred and He still opted to show up in my life in a myriad of ways throughout the year! These are just a few of my favorites…
1. After losing my job in March, I did my absolute best to turn away from God, going so far as to refuse to attend my home church for a few weeks and tagging along – last minutes – with my grandparents en route to New Orleans, the SEC Men’s Basketball Tournament, and anything other than God’s “new” direction for my life. He had “let me down” and I didn’t want to acknowledge Him. Along the drive, I was “wowing” my grandparents with my tech-savvy, playing songs through the car stereo off of YouTube or Pandora. I started taking requests and my grandpa immediately wanted to hear his favorite Southern Gospel Song, “God on the Mountain,” by The McKameys. I groaned inwardly, but complied. The lyrics almost instantly hit me like a ton of bricks, and I knew at that moment that god was right there in the car, letting me cry on His shoulder, and no matter how far I ever chose to run, I would NEVER be able to outrun Him…
“For the God on the mountain, is still God in the Valley.
When things go wrong, He’ll make them right.
The God of the good times, is still God in the bad times.
The God of the day, is still God in the night.”
2. During World Race Training Camp in July, we were encouraged during on of the worship sessions to pray asking God to fill us with The Holy Spirit, so that we could overflow into the nations we would soon be entering. I prayed, fervently, but couldn’t feel anything other than the anger rising in me over my lack of Holy Spirit… Then I begged for God to send someone to pray over and into me – someone who knew what it was to be filled and who could pour out all over me. In a split-second, I felt a hand on my shoulder. As our Squad’s lead trainer, Aly, began praying, I literally felt as if God pulled the top off of my head and began pouring His Spirit into me, filling me from head to toe. My eyes overflowed with tears of JOY – HE DOES HEAR ME; HE DOES LOVE ME!
3. After God filled me up, He wasn’t finished for the evening. He had work for me to do – things He would use me to speak into other people, calling them up, encouraging them, affirming their identities in Him, and meanwhile revealing to me a gifting that I’d never before recognized or understood. He sent me around the room, leading me to pray over six or seven members of J Squad. For most of them, I have NO CLUE what I actually prayed, but the following morning, each of them came to tell me that the words I had spoken over them were exactly what they had just shared with someone else about an issue they were struggling with, or that they were perfectly aligned with something other spiritual guides had previously said to them, or even that I had just spoken directly into what was in their heart at that very moment – unknowingly. THAT WAS NOT ME – THAT WAS GOD! He was there, and that’s when He told me that I have been entrusted with a gifting in prophecy.
4. One night in November, during ministry in Thailand, I experience some fairly severe stomach pain after supper. Not wanting to use the nearby, but less desirable facilities, I chose to walk a distance for a better (more Westernized) option. Along the walk, I suddenly got an overwhelming urge to talk with my Mom, so I called her. (EXPENSIVE OPTION, BUT ONE DOES WHAT ONE MUST.) Turned out she had been wracked with a severe stomach bug for most of that day! In that moment I was moved to do something I’ve never done before – I stopped in the middle of the road and said an over-the-phone prayer for my Mom. She wasn’t better instantly (although Praise God she was eventually fine), but out of NO WHERE my pain vanished! God definitely used that moment to teach me to listen when He directs.
5. I’ve ALWAYS known that I come from a VERY generous and benevolent Church family and local community, but in 2012, I’ve been amazed! On top of church-wide donations, individual members literally shelled out their pockets for me – so much so that over a month before leaving on The World Race, I was fully funded for the $15,500 commitment. Above that, the generosity of friends and family abounded and people kept pouring Jesus’s love all over me – so much so that I was able to pass the blessings on to multiple members of J Squad! God used so many people to send me and my new family on this journey! He is totally touching SOOOOO many lives!
6. Sometimes God is REALLY funny! The last people I told about choosing to go on The World Race were my grandparents – no real reason why, just how it went down. When I went to do so, one of my precious, little cousins, Cameron, happened to be at their house, and through a doorway he watched as I told them that I felt God was calling me to leave home for 11 months. My grandma immediately burst into tears (SHE MIGHT LOVE ME JUST A TAD!) My grandpa hugged me and told me he was proud of me, then he left the women to their emotions, going back to hang out with Cam. After a while, my grandma and I emerged and Cameron opted to ride home and stay the night with me. Our car ride conversation went like this:
Cam: Ash, when Pa came back in the room, I asked him if you were pregnant.
Ash: DO WHAT?!?! Why on Earth would you even think to ask that!?!?!
Cam: Well, I couldn’t think of anything else that would make Ma cry like that!
In that comedic moment, God showed me how blessed I am to have been raised in a family that protects the innocence and morality of children!
7. Evangelism has long terrified me. In July, I had the opportunity to travel with my home church to Memphis, Tennessee for a weeklong mission trip, focusing on sharing the Gospel with the inner-city community. I quickly realized my fear of talking about salvation and found myself being “shown up” by fearless teens burdened for the hearts of a lost and dying world. And in the back of my mind, I wondered how I could ever do God’s Will throughout the rest of the world if I couldn’t even do it in America. After LOTS of prayer for bravery and guidance, God allowed me to lead three people through the plan of Salvation, and as I watched each of them pray to accept Him into their lives, something inside me switched. Salvation is the bottom line. It’s the one thing that matters to me, above all else, and it’s why I chose to come on The World Race. In September, God allowed me to lead a man from the Dominican Republic to Him! We don’t even speak the same language, but we are now brother and sister in Christ!
8. One of my favorite ministry projects, to date, came during September, where Laura, Liz, Becky and I set up “Prayer Tables” in a park in Azua, Dominican Republic. Laura and I set our table near the front of the property, posted our sign, which read, “Can we pray for you?” (in Spanish), and didn’t have to wait long to get some attention. Among the first few people to come up to us was an elderly man, leaning on his cane, clearly pained physically. He told us that he, too, was a missionary; he was in his 90s and had been in Azua for most of his life following the Lord’s call, but this had become cumbersome with his knee now giving him considerable trouble. We immediately asked if we could pray for his knee, and without hesitation, he consented, willingly allowing me to lay my hand directly on the target. I distinctly remember praying that God would heal his knee so incredibly that he would depart from us running… Maybe something got lost in translation, but either way, the result was astounding! Our brother in Christ raised his head after that pray, picked his cane up from the ground and quite literally DANCED away from us, fully supported by both knees. Laura and I jumped up and down in excitement! That’s the God we serve!!!
9. In October, my World Race team and I ventured out one afternoon to citizens in Carrefour, Haiti to the revival meetings that we would be preaching the following week. While out and about, we were asked to pay a visit to a sweet elderly lady who was a member of the church we were working with, but due to her frailty was rendered unable to attend most of the time. She lived with her son, her daughter-in-law and other various family members, none of whom are Believers and more specifically are worshippers of Satan – they were so bold as to tell us so as we sat visiting our sister. Amid so much darkness, we felt called to pray her. As we were praying, I began feeling pain in my back, but something inside me knew it wasn’t my pain – it was the lady’s. So I spoke to the pain and commanded it to leave her body, in Jesus’s name. As soon as I prayed this, my pain moved from my back to my hip. Repeat scenario. Then it moved from my hip to my ankle. This happened multiple times and each time I would command the pain to leave this sweet lady. When we had finished praying, our translator asked her about where she normally experienced pain, and she named each of the places that I’d just prayed over. The cool part, though, was when she assured us that NONE of those places were hurting her after our prayer! WHOA!
10. One day during December, while in Malaysia – take note, Malaysia is a predominately Muslim nation – our team opted to ATL (Ask the Lord) for what our day of ministry should look like. Different team members got different responses, and each of us spent time following whatever path we believed He had lain out for our day. God led me to create a “Free Prayer” sign and, with Liz by my side, stand in the middle of a crowded train station holding said sign and waiting… While we waited, I handed the sign to Liz and pulled out my Bible, opening to random passages and reading while people walked by. We got tons of odd looks, plenty of lengthy stares, a lot of surprised expressions, and finally two policemen came and informed us that we had to leave the property. No big deal; we just stood outside. Over the course of a couple of hours, three men approached us and asked for prayer. They each had different needs; schooling, a Visa, health concerns, etc., and they each inquired about our God and if He could truly help them. Coolest part; two of them told us flat out, they are Muslim, but they knew exactly to whom we were praying and they were absolutely okay with putting trust in Him. Wow, God! Wow!
11. By the end of month three on The World Race, I found myself facing an old nemesis – panic attacks. Literally every night as I tried to go to sleep, I would be confronted with a terrifying image that left me fearful of my dreams. During the days, I often experienced extreme anxiety, fear or dread over the slightest thing. I confessed this to my teammates, and they prayed fervently over my thoughts and my reactions, but still the anxiety prevailed. For whatever reason, I continually felt convicted about a myriad of my past mistakes, my “fall back” sins, my crutches… Finally I recognized that I was being called to renounce those things, to confess them to God and before my close knit family here on the Race, to rid my life of the guilt and shame that I felt because of those transgressions. So one afternoon, six amazing Women of God surrounded me as I repented and released myself of weight I’ve unknowingly carried for a long, long time. I renounced destructive relationships with multiple men, fully forgave my parents for fears instilled in me by their divorce, repented of feeling like I have to work to earn God’s love… this was no short process, for sure. But I can say with confidence that after that, I have never felt lighter! God has truly redeemed me of so much and I’m walking in a totally new freedom that I never want to lose! SO AWESOME!
Be Blessed,
Ashlee
