Feet propped up in the common room of The Pod – the hostel where my team and I are staying for the first portion of this month in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia – I’m watching through the window as the evening comes to life. We’re in a section of the city known as “Little India,” where you can imagine – to my delight – there are at least twenty Indian restaurants within five minutes walking distance. Next door, Tamil Methodist Church is covered with strands of blue Christmas lights and a brilliant, glowing Cross atop the building. Street vendors offer just about anything you can imagine, including this incredibly pungent smelling fruit called Durian (I had Durian flavored ice cream earlier today!) But perhaps the most intriguing sight I’ve found so far is a collection of “unusual” advertisements dotting every other building.
“Blind Massages.”
I’ll admit, having just spent a month warring against the sex trafficking industry, at first glance I readily assumed that this was some sort of innuendo meant to draw in the numerous backpackers and vacationers that this place clearly attracts. When dropping us off, our cab driver even warned us that at night, the street we are on becomes quite heavy with prostitution, so we’ve been praying against that spirit since we arrived on the place! In any case, we all know what assuming does…
Earlier today, my teammate Laura had the insight to ask our ministry host, Edwin, what the signs were for. He explained that “Little India” is also an area home to the Malaysia Association for the Blind (MAB), an organization devoted to helping educate, train and enable people who either from birth, due to sickness or because of an accent are blind or seeing impaired. (This attests to the increased number of walking sticks I’ve actually noticed over the past two days.) One of the programs that is offered is Massage Therapy Training, hence “Blind Massages.”
Edwin also told us that this area has recently been remodeling a fair bit, and many of the one-way streets have been redirected, which is causing a lot of chaos for the blind community here. Imagine feeling your way through your daily routine, unable to see anything ahead, forced to rely on pure “gut” instinct and anything familiar that you can sense, only to suddenly realize that YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHERE YOU ARE GOING?!?!
Actually, I know how they feel.
Just a few days ago, God confirmed what I’ve felt Him speaking to me for quite some time (or at least for the past couple months.) I’ve been raised up as a Team Leader.
For whatever season God has planned, I’m privileged to be leading Team “Just Love,” consisting of a few familiar names – Karen Thyer, Elizabeth Cloutier, Monica Pennington and Laura Economides – and a few new additions – Shelli Daniels and Kirby McErlane! We’re in agreement that God is proclaiming this to be a season of FUN and FRIENDSHIP, and we feel incredibly called to NOT overcomplicate things. We are going to keep it simple and “just love.”
That said, it’s easy to feel quite blind in all of this, and it’s even easier to feel an incredible lack of security. In a matter of days, I’ve watched most, if not all, of my “security blankets” literally be swept out from under me. My former team leader, Becky, has been called up to Squad Lead (HOORAY!!!) for the remainder of the Race and I could not be more pumped for her! She’ll be traveling all over each country that J Squad works in, along with our other Squad Leaders, Claire and Robert, visiting each team and pouring into all 50+ of us, literally ministering to each of us as we try to minister to the nations! Kind’ve a big deal! That said, entering Malaysia and trying to get “Just Love” all set, I kept looking around as if to ask, “Where the heck is Becky? Who’s taking care of all this stuff?” Oh… Yeah…
Then, upon arrival in Kuala Lumpur, I made my way to an ATM for a routine withdraw, and the machine proceeded to retain my personal debit card. You don’t really realize how much security there is in money until you don’t have any… Little things like this are definitely teaching me lessons; sometimes so much so that I desperately hope God spreads the education out over the next few months and doesn’t pile it all into December!
To say that I don’t know what God is doing through this would be a lie. His intentions have been quite clear, so far. A couple of my teammates helped me admit something that I’ve known deep down for quite sometime – I put way too much stock in finding security in people/things other than The Lord. There are times when I’m down right “needy” toward people, and while I know friends and family want to help with whatever they can, the bare truth is that people will fail. It’s unfair to put an expectation on anyone to be a constant sense of security; only God can handle that. Likewise, money is fickle and fleeting, and while it may help me to feel powerful or more in control, is it not ALL God’s money anyway? This month, He is teaching me to lean in Him, to trust Him, to be strengthened and sustained by Him. ONLY Him. He is my security. He is my sight.
This process is not particularly easy. I literally wake up each day and say, “I trust you, Lord,” on repeat as many times as it takes for it to sink in. Throughout the day there is no telling how often I go through this same process again, over and over.
I trust you, Lord. I trust you, Lord. I trust you, Lord.
Eventually, I know that it will become much easier to see where He has planned for me to walk. He will be the greatest place of security I could ask for. He will be all I need.
Be Blessed,
Ashlee
