Well, Dudes, I did it.
I managed to cram a year's worth of "necessities" into a ridiculously small (BUT HEAVY) backpack. I "sucked it up" and smiled through 70+ goodbye hugs at Church. I convinced myself that Skype will suffice as my main means of contact with friends and family. I managed NOT to sob until I was out of sight (or in the case of one telephone goodbye – No, those are not any easier – out of earshot) of my best friends. And even through a few tears, ever Castle, Law and Keeling has been bid adeur for 11 months. I got on the first plane. Hello Chicago! Whew! Exhale!
Let's amend that original statement. GOD did it; not I. I have been absolutely blown away by the overall sense of peace He has given my throughout this last difficult week at home. At mention or thought of separation, "normal" Ashlee gets a terrible nervous stomach, goes into unrelenting panic attacks, cries for Mom and Dad to "fix" everything and generally finds herself a few days later, exhausted, ashamed and feeling pretty crappy. CODEPENDENT, I definitely AM!
But, thankfully, God has fully loaded me with strength. Or perhaps its simply Him being he awesome Him that He is, and fulfilling a promise to be with me, to take care of me and to carry my burdens. (At some point, He is probably gong to have to carry that backpack, too!)
"For his sake, I have taken you from the ends of the earth, and I have called you from its distant places. And I said to you: "You are my servant. I have chosen you, and I have not cast you aside." Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not turn away, for I am your God. I have strengthened you, and I have assisted you, and the right hand of my just one has upheld you." -Isaiah 41:9-10 (Thanks so much for those verses, Celeste!)
Be Blessed,
Ashlee
