There are two things I can say about training camp.
Training camp was romantic. The Spirit of God danced through rooms like a spring breeze, and every frosty heart bloomed in response.
Before training camp, someone prophesied over me that I would find love on the World Race. I laughed and said, "We'll see," kind of like how Sarah laughed when the Lord told her she would have a son in her old age. Sarah's laughter was laced with humor but rooted in fear and bitterness. Humor because it was hilarious that after 90 years, she would carry life in a womb that had been so decrepit. Fear because it was frightening that after 90 years, she would carry life when it seemed she had so little of it left herself. Bitterness because it was painful that after 90 years, she would carry life because the Giver of Life declared it so in perfect power and timing – that THIS was perfect power and timing, exactly when she looked imperfect and was completely late in the drama of living, birthing, and dying. At this point, she had done the living, skipped the birthing, and was going straight to the dying. For the Lord to say that she would have birth after death, and that her life would look like living, dying, and then birthing in three acts – well, that would be a miracle wouldn't it? Life after death would be simply divine. When Sarah laughed, she laughed at the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. And I let out a hearty Sarah laugh. I should have known better.
After training camp, I understood that prophecy, and I knew that love was referring to none other than Jesus. I have never been in a relationship. Aside from the relationship I had with the ultimate Lover of Souls, I wanted more. I was scared that somehow He wouldn't be enough, so I mourned. I grieved not the loss of a husband and children, but the loss of never having a husband or children for as long as I will live. I wept like the daughter of Jephthah did when she went away for two months with her friends to the hills lamenting that she would never marry and die a virgin. I cried because I was afraid that my life would be barren like my womb, and that the Lord would never make anything grow and come from it. Then I sang a song where He said to me, "Come away with me. It's going to be wild. It's going to be great. It's going to full of me." And I sang to Him, "I'll go away with you. Let it be wild. Let it be great. Let it be full of you." And then I laughed, but this time, my laughter was rooted in peace and joy. So I reached out and opened this gift of singleness that may be mine for life. I said to my Lord, "Love me hard so I won't let go. Love me hard so I won't seek the love of any other in this life."
Training camp was real. It was just another week of God doing what He's been doing since the beginning – pouring into us a love so zealous we would literally cease to exist if He were to ever stop.
Before training camp, someone told me I would find love.
After training camp, I can tell everyone that my love is Jesus and only Jesus, forever and always.
There are two words I can say about training camp.
Zealous. Love.
Two words to describe my good God. Also, two words to describe my good team.
Team Zealous Love.
"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one's house for love, it would be utterly scorned." Song of Solomon 8:6-7
Ask for life and love, and receive. May the Giver of Life and Lover of Souls never leave your life barren and soul unravished.
