I was in the middle of month 6/Nepal and I couldn't stop thinking of getting to the next month because June was Thailand month! Thailand was one of the reasons I chose this route and I was super excited to work with women.
Why women?
Well, a couple months before leaving for the Race I had a dream that broke my heart.
This is what happened…
"I was in Roswell, NM at the house I grew up in. It was mid-day, I was standing at the back door watching my sister walk across the yard to throw the trash. Where I come from, we have alleys with huge black trash cans that three homes share, we can usually throw the trash bags over our four foot fence but, this time she couldn't toss it without the possibility of missing, so she decided to walk into the alley to throw it. When she opened the gate, someone grabbed her, and the daylight turned into darkness. If you know me, I get like a lioness protecting her cubs when people mess with my family and friends! I took off running and yelling for the man to let her go. Once I stepped out of the yard I was grabbed and force to sit down against the fence with my hands behind my back. I soon realized there was a lot of girls lined up against the fence with me, my sister next to me, crying and in a panic. I was yelling, trying to figure out what was happening.
It hit me, like a ton of bricks,
We're getting sold into human trafficking…
My heart just about stopped.
My mind and body wanted to panic like the rest, but I couldn't. My heart wouldn't let me lose focus of what needed to be done. We needed to escape, to run.
I turned and look at my sister and said we needed to run when the guard got to the end of the alley, I was shouting at her, trying to get her to listen. I counted 1… 2… 3!
I jumped up and ran, I was halfway through the yard, assuming my sister was right behind me.
She wasn't.
I looked back and she was still sitting there, in a broken state of panic.
I blinked and in that moment she was gone.
All of them were gone.
I broke down, in the middle of my backyard regretting the fact that I left her.
(fast forward a year… because dreams are weird like that)
I diligently searched for her in that year. I posted pictures everywhere, talked to everyone I met, and at night I would drive around looking for her among the women of the night.
Nothing.
That is until one afternoon, I was with a few friends at an outdoor market and I saw her. She was thin with sunken empty eyes, bruises and scars on her arms.
We made eye contact and before I could run to her she said, “walk away, don't come near me.” Silent tears running down her face.
I blinked and she was gone… again."
I woke up from my dream with tears on my face. It felt so real, so raw.
For days I couldn't shake the feeling of what happened, I asked and prayed for God to tell me why the heck He would allow me to dream something so crazy!
Well He answered my prayer.
This is what He said…
“ I needed to you to feel the pain of losing your sister because there are many girls here and across the world who are being sold into human trafficking everyday and everynight. THESE ARE MY DAUGHTERS, I love them, they are also your sisters. I want you to pursue these girls with the same fire and love you did for your own.”
I cried… hard.
Revelation is hard to take in sometimes, but I would rather be shattered and broken to FEEL what God feels.
To LOVE how God loves.
God, break my heart for what breaks Yours.
