After our first few days at the farm in Honduras with just us, Tony and his wife, plus a few of the boys, we were joined by about 80 more people for a three-day church fast and retreat.
As I said in the last blog, from the moment we set foot inside the gates of Eden, we felt the peace and rest of the Lord…
Until Day 1 of the church retreat…
When peace and rest quickly became distant memories….
From the first mic check at 3:49 a.m. on Day 1, till the last attempt at screaming the devil out of someone on Day 3, frustration reigned among our group.
The frustration mainly stemmed from the wee-hour-of-the-morning wake-up call to obnoxiously loud music each day, but other things came into play as well…
Though the entire church body was fasting, the church leaders were not.
Though the entire church body was casually dressed, the church leaders were not.
Though most of the church body was friendly, the church leaders weren’t nearly as approachable.
And so on and so forth.
Because of this, most of us didn’t go out of our way to be around them…in fact, it might be more accurate to say that we avoided them the majority of the time.
Until on the last day, as I was brushing my teeth, one of the pastors struck up a conversation with me.
I had no out, so I stayed and we began our small talk.
A few minutes passed, when another pastor joined us…
a few more minutes, then another…
until suddenly I was sitting at a table with three of the pastors I’d been trying so hard to avoid.
At one point they asked me what I was asking the Lord for and I responded with “the salvation of so-and-so”. Their response?
“What about yours?”
Me: “My what?”
Them: “Your salvation.”
Me: “Um….already crossed that bridge…that’s why I’m here…
that’s why we’re all here…”
that’s why we’re all here…”
Them: “Hmmm….reeeeeeaaaalllllyyy…..??”, clearly not satisfied with that answer.
Thus began 45 minutes of me getting preached to by three pastors and practically having to convince them that I am, in fact, a Christian after all.
I left that conversation feeling judged and misunderstood…
like I needed to defend my relationship with the Lord, my heart and my integrity.
It weighed pretty heavily on me that day…
Until the Holy Spirit began to remind me of the words of Christ…
“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
(Matthew 7:1-5)
Wait, What??!?
Whoah…
That’s quite the bitter pill to swallow, Lord…
But it was so very true.
I felt judged and misunderstood by the pastors.
While the pastors were being judged and misunderstood by me. By us.
Specks in their eyes.
Logs in ours.
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, If you have love for one another.”
(John 13:34-35)
We had just spent our first few days at the farm observing the Father’s heart through Tony; seeing the unconditional, transforming, powerful love of God in action.
Loving the boys right where they’re at.
Pursuing them.
Serving them.
Being patient with them.
Laying down his life for them.
Even before they belong to the family of God…
And here we couldn’t even bring ourselves to love, serve and pursue our brothers and sisters in Christ.
“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing…”
(1 Cor. 13:1-3)
“We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him that the one who loves God should love his brother also.”
(1 John 4:19-21)
“‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'”
(Matt. 22:37-39)
“We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren… Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.”
(1 John 3:16,18)
Had we pursued our brothers? Did we seek to know and understand their hearts? To serve them? To participate and worship alongside them?
To lay down our lives for them?
To love them?
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is not jealous.
Love does not brag.
Love is not arrogant.
Love does not act unbecomingly.
Love does not seek its own.
Love is not provoked.
Love does not take into account a wrong suffered.
Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness.
Love rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things.
Love believes all things.
Love hopes all things.
Love endures all things.
Love
Never
Fails
(1 Cor. 13:4-8a)
Nope.
We sure didn’t.
It was a hard word/correction/rebuke to receive from the Lord, but it was only done out of love and only done so that we could be pruned to bear more fruit for the kingdom…
“Every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit.”
(John 15:2)
“For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines…”
(Heb. 12:6a)
“All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.”
(2 Tim. 3:16-17)
So…thanks, Lord, for loving us enough to turn our focus from the speck to the log so that we can finally see clearly…
