“A Christian is someone who lives beyond his or her own abilities and understandings”
Part of my foundation as a Christian is built on knowing what God is doing in the world, wants to do in the world, and that I have a role to play. Never did I think my role would be to go. To pray and give? Yes. To go? Nope!
Who me?!
PHOTO: Me and Jazmine in 2013
As I write this post, it was exactly 2 years ago that God placed on my heart His desire for me to commit to missions. I vividly remember listening to a missionary our church supported speak at our young adult service. He shared about His calling to share the love of Jesus in Russia. He talked about the risk he and his team took to do this as he knew of people in his group who had been killed or tortured. And yet, he was going! I remember crying (not the pretty cry, the ugly-you –don’t-want-this-to –happen- in –public-and-oh-I –have-no-tissue- cry). I remember how I felt on the inside. Something was stirring up in me and it was about to overflow. I remember thinking “No way! God, you’re crazy. I’ve walked with you for less than a year. I could never do that.” Next to me, stood my good friend Jazmine who in that moment smiled and whispered “You’re going to do that.” What?! How did she know what I was thinking?! Within the next month several people spoke into my life regarding a possible call to missions. “Have you ever thought about missions?” That sorta thing. But, I didn’t believe them. I felt inadequate, unworthy, and afraid. Fast forward to now and the only thing that has changed about my response is that I believe them.
God Knows Best
Through prayer and confirmation from others I came to terms with my calling to do missions. I was even excited about it! I’ve always wanted to travel, I loved Jesus, and I had a heart for justice. So, missions wasn’t a far stretch for me. A few months into my senior year of college I was looking forward to the possibility of moving to New Orleans. I wanted to be a part of a church plant my church was supporting. But…God had different plans. He told me to move to Seattle and go to grad school. None of that was part of my plan OR what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to work in ministry. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than me. As this season is coming to a close, I know that Seattle and graduate school was completely necessary for me to step into my calling in ministry and missions.
The Day Hope Was Given
So, the World Race. I had never heard of the Race. The best way I can describe this is that the Holy Spirit hacked me. Yep, God hacked my Gmail account. I was about two months into my time in Seattle and was at one of many lows since my time here. I was fighting God and the path He had placed me on. I was studying something I knew I didn’t want to do for the rest of my life, I was in a job that wasn’t fulfilling, and to top it off I was in Seattle. I was annoyed that I had to think before throwing anything away (what is composting anyway?), I was tired of meeting people for coffee (how much caffeine can one consume?), and everything costs so much ($5 for a pack of bacon!). In the midst of this, God brought me the Race. I was clearing out my task list in my Gmail and on the list was “World Race missions.” I had no idea what that was, so I googled it. I came to the site and my heart immediately jumped with a sense of anticipation. I cried as I read the banner that begged the question: “do you think there is more to life than empty traditions, routines, and working 9-5?” YES!!! I responded. Then, I cried (noticing a pattern here?). As I read the blogs and watched the videos I cried out: “Lord, is this for me? Can I really have this?” I made up my mind in that moment that I was going on the Race. I even created an account and waited for the September 2013 routes to post (this was 2 years in advance). I felt such peace, joy, and sense of purpose. Three things I had not experienced since my move to Seattle.
“Did God Actually Say…?”
I began to tell everyone that this is what I was going to do after graduation. Not long after this fear crept in and I dismissed the Race. I made up my mind that I would job search instead. I mean who was I to think I could be a missionary? I had only been walking with Jesus for 1.5 years at that point. Who was I to ask people for money? There’s no way anyone would support me. Plus, I had school debt. I don’t have the right to do this. I should work. What about my family? I’m going to leave them for a year. They need me. Yeah, Satan’s lies hit me where it hurt and it worked. I gave it up. I would stay here, get a job, and pay off debt. Deep down I knew this wasn’t aligned with God’s will, but it seemed safe and made sense.
It’s Like Trying to Fit a Square Peg in a Round Hole
Although my heart never felt settled with the thought of going straight into traditional full-time work, as I entered my final year of schooling, I saw no other options. This left me worried and anxious that I had misinterpreted my understanding that God had something different for me. A few months ago (about a year since I heard of the Race), the Race came back to mind. I begged God to take the thought away. I mean, I had already made up my mind that I wasn’t going. I had given it up. To think of it now was only torture. As I received prayer it became clear that the Race is what God was calling me to and I decided once again that that’s what I was going to do. So, over Christmas break I applied, interviewed and was accepted!
Why the World Race?
To this day, I don’t know how the Race made it to my task list. Like I said I had never heard of it and had never been to the website before that day. Anyone I thought had told me about it said they didn’t! I am so excited that God doesn’t stop pursuing us. I still can’t believe that He’s invited me on such an adventure. I get to live in community with others whose hearts feel just as burdened by this broken world as mine. I get to simplify and rely on God for everything (I’m living out of a backpack for a year!). Most importantly, I get to see God in the faces of those whom Jesus himself came to preach the Gospel to: the poor, brokenhearted, captives, blind, and oppressed. What a privilege!
As I shared in my application, the World Race is one way I see God using me to impact His kingdom. A kingdom that isn’t temporary or fleeting, but eternal. What most attracts me to the World Race is that as we “go outward” to share the love of God, there is also an expectation that we “go inward” and allow ourselves to be confronted with our own brokenness. Through living in community, serving, and seeing the divine revelation of the Holy Spirit in the world, we can testify to the healing and liberating power of the Gospel, a message that is so desperately needed in our world. I am glad I can finally say that His desire is also my desire!
Thank you for taking the time to read my story! I have had life changing encounters with God through the stories of His servants and it is my prayer that my story will be that for you. More than anything this season will take faith. Will you pray that my faith will be increased as I prepare to serve God on the Race? Thank you:)
What in your life requires faith?
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I will be raising $15,500 to cover the cost for this trip. If God lays it on your heart to help send me out by supporting me financially, click “Support Me” on the left to make a tax-deductible donation. Or, cut out the small online processing fee by mailing a check to:
Adventures in Missions
PO Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
Checks should be made out to “Adventures in Missions”.
***Put “PERKINSSHATERIKA” in the memo line of the check!!!!!***
