A lot has happened since I last posted my last blog! I had a craft fair fundraiser at a library in Monroe with my mom, I spoke at A New Hope Bible Church in Riverside, and I started a new local job! God has been teaching me a lot as well, so I wanted to share that with you all before posting Part 2 of my Scorch Trials series. I have recently been blessed with some extremely generous donations from my grandma and two other supporters during the month of March, some of which has shown up on my account already and the rest of which will show up for the month of April. The donations I have received selling hats, scarves, and bracelets at the craft fair, my church, and at Stockton Christian Fellowship have gone towards my Typhoid shot that I got yesterday and the rest will go towards gear or shots that I need for June.
Our squad has officially been given a letter and a color, so instead of August Route 3, we are now known as the K-squad of August 2016 and our color is green! More on that in a later post to come. We have also been given our first assigned reading as World Racers, called Kingdom Journeys: Rediscovering a Lost Spiritual Discipline by Seth Barnes, the founder of Adventures in Missions! One of the discussion questions we were asked for chapter 2 helped to inspire this blog, giving a recap of what God has been teaching me recently.
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How can life without change or challenge become like a prison?
When I was in college, I was involved with Christian groups on campus, going to Church, or hanging out with Christian friends and roommates almost every day of the week. I had fellowship, community, spiritual leaders were never far away, and my life was constantly changing. My class schedule was the only constant, while the events I had to plan, promote, or attend were constantly changing. It was challenging, but I thrived while being busy, surrounded by this constant community.
Then in late December I graduated, and at first it was great! No more homework, no more classes, and not many commitments besides my World Race fundraising. But then slowly, the longer I was home with not much to do, the more I felt imprisoned by my own unproductivity. I got settled in at a new Church, made some new friends, and started support-raising more actively until I started getting so bored with my lack of a schedule, that I lost my motivation, determination, and will to pursue fundraising as much as I should because my day-to-day life felt purposeless.
When I finally started to be honest about it and open up to some of my friends, this was the turning point for things slowly starting to fall back into place. Soon after, I went to a Bible study with some of my Church friends, I had a craft fair fundraiser, I spoke at a church, and I got hired locally at a new job! After that, God sent me some really unexpected donations that were completely of His power and not of my own. It has been really awesome seeing God at work in people’s lives around me, how he sent me friends to give me advice, put it on people’s hearts to support me, and showed me people who believe in me, even when I don’t see the same things in myself sometimes. To all of you who are reading this and do believe in me, thank you! You guys are the best!
I wanted to share this with all of you because life isn’t perfect and I’m sure you’re going to have moments in your life that feel like a holding pattern, waiting for the next step in life. So when you get there, your best bet is to go to God first and talk to Him about it because He loves you and is always there for you. The next thing you should do is just be honest with the people around you who care about you. Putting on a big smile while your world feels like it’s crumbling beneath you might work for a little while, but God has been teaching me that He has put certain people in my life to help carry the burden when I feel like it’s too heavy. And I don’t mean whining or complaining. I mean sitting down with or calling up someone you trust and being completely honest with them about what’s been going on, admitting you need help because you don’t know what to do. And lastly, listen to what these people have to say, and if you agree with it, take action! Don’t keep waiting around, pondering this or that. Listen to the advice you know makes sense and do it! Identify the problem, and take steps towards a solution.
Something God has been showing me is that I’ve been missing authentic Christian community and a solid Christian leader that I can meet with regularly to help pour into me after I pour into others. I was praying regularly, reading my Bible regularly, and attending Church regularly. But I also need to be surrounded with people who can teach me new things about God and the Bible besides just on Sundays, so I can grow in my faith as well, rather than helping teach others and having stunted growth myself. God has been showing me there has to be a balance between teaching and learning so the teacher doesn’t run dry and all of us who are continually learning can turn to someone who knows more about a particular topic and increase our knowledge of God.
I know that next year will be a time of constant community, constant ministry, and constantly drawing closer to the Lord, allowing Him to change us as He sees fit as we pour out into those in communities all over the world. But God is teaching me things even now to prepare me for this journey. This reminds me of a quote I read recently: “We all want the growth that change brings, but the truth is growing pains are hard.” I can’t remember who said this, but it reminds me of our walk with God. We all want to be changed for the better, but we don’t like the trial and error that comes while growing, we just want results.
Likewise, allowing God to change you from the inside out can be painful and time consuming, but ultimately the results will be worth the uncomfortableness of God changing you. God wants to change all of us until we reach perfection. And some of these changes won’t happen on Earth, but will happen in Heaven when God purifies you from all the sinfulness in your heart that you might not be aware of on Earth. But allowing God to start working on you now, while painful at first, is always worth it. The best part? God won’t give up and He won’t stop until He’s satisfied with you.
What about you? Is your life currently in a holding pattern? Are there things God has been speaking to your heart about changing?
