Life. Is. Busy.
As you know, I work at a residential care facility for teenagers. Its been a crazy week. One of my littles confronted me about a few things, sorta rocked my world a little bit. She told me she couldnt trust me, which completely shocked me. We went through several situations from the past 4 months. When a teenager confronts you, its sorta like, WHAT?! I mean. I had no words at all. I think she did a great job confronting me… but some of it wasnt neccessary. Its good that she stood up for herself, and learned how to confront… because with conflict comes intimacy! Its a great thing. I think I’ve learned this week that I really need to be aware and present for the next 56 days while Im here. WOW. 56 days. From 12 months down to just a mere 56 days. I really cant believe it.
That means that training camp is in 102 days. Now thats CRAZY! AH!!!! I feel SO completely unprepared. I feel like, “WHAT AM I DOING?!?!” BUT I do know that this is exactly where God wants me. The race is exactly what God wants me to be doing. Daily, I am reminded that the race is going to BREAK ME. Fully. Not having a regular shower, not eating my favorite things, not having the comforts of home, sleeping anywhere and everywhere, not having a cell phone to call anyone anytime, not having my teddy bear (yes, I have one, and havent gone very long without him before. Im an adult, its true…), OH MY GOSH. The race is going to break me. Its going to change me. Its going to be weird and crazy, and fun. God knows exactly what he is doing though, and I need to continue to trust that, as hard as it is.
WHICH means, that I leave for the race in 179 days… that number is a bit more “managable”. Its a bit more far off, which means I really do have time to prepare. But I know that if the Lord called me to an earlier race, I wouldnt have that nice little cushion. But I do have it, so I need to make the most/best of it. I’ve had that opportunity before, 3 months off of work, but didnt use it well. I need to use this time WELL. I need to make the best of it, making the best decisions for my life. Vegas will be difficult. I am aware of that. But, I know its an okay place to be at this point in my life, whereas last year was not. Im excited to spend time with my dad too.
To celebrate the holiday, the girls house (big sisters and little sisters) went to a HUGE, 120,000 people HUGE church concert/missions benefit/fireworks extravaganza! It was SOOOO much fun! The best part was that it was featured on God.tv, and it was raising money for Angel Mission and for 5dollarwater.com. It was broadcast AROUND THE WORLD! During the concert, we were able to watch a Kenyan village drilling for water. To think that next June, I will be in Kenya. WOAH! I hope, and I dont know really, that I get to see that well that I watched being drilled. What a cool thing to imagine! I donated 5 dollars… 5 dollars provides clean water for ONE person for 20 years. If you want to get involved, text ‘water’ to 90999, the $5 is added to your phone bill, genius! There was also a band from Zimbabwe, called the Zimbabwe Boys, AKA Live Out Loud. One Word. AMAZING. Check them out! Click HERE! I feel like I could be obsessed any day now!!!
The girls house is off to Kansas City tomorrow for our missions trip. Im excited, I think. Sometimes I think that I dont want to go, but I know that I have to, so I need to have a better attitude about going. I dont know why I dont want to go… I think part of it is being with the girls in that environment, battling their bad attitudes, trying to make it fun for them and having fun for myself. Its a weird combo. I think a lie that I believe is “Im not a missionary”. Although, I work in full time ministry, sharing the Lord with 9 little sisters. THAT IS SUCH A LIE! I am a missionary, today. NOT just in 179 days when I leave the country for the first time. I am a missionary to these kids who see the light of the Lord through me. What a humbling thought. Jesus calls us the salt of the earth, the light of the world (Matthew 5:13-16), I NEED to be that for them, for others that we serve. My personal ministry are the girls in my room (which are now the president and vice president of our house… we have a royal room!). They are the ones I need to focus on, not myself, which is too easy. Pray that I would find rest in the Lord…. among other things 🙂
AND… this race is starting to feel a little “small worldish”. A few of my teammates know people in my life here at Doulos. WOW! Talk about God networking like crazy!! I am loving it!
