I just want to share some of the things I’ve been learning lately… 🙂
On Wednesdays at Doulos, we volunteer in the community at various places. I’ve been going to the food pantry, CAM. I was trained to to interviews, which are is really just assessing the needs of the clients that come in. Its an extremely humbling experience, asking people what their needs are. Just knowing that I have a job, have a roof over my head and food on my table, and the people who come to CAM may or may not… AH the thought of that gets me every time. I want to share with you an experience I had last Wednesday with a client. She came in alone, but needed items for herself and her 4 children (the youngest 4 months). She said that she wanted everything we could offer her, which means that I went ahead and checked off all the items. When I got to the diapers portion, she literally gasped, grateful that they offered those. (CAM has a large variety of items for families, and even things like diapers/wipes, baby food, and even TP and toothpaste). She needed clothing for herself and her children, especially the youngest. The Lord completely stirred in me, and broke my heart for this client. I went to the director asking her what else we could do. We offered her a voucher for a local thrift store to get items for the baby, and even gave her a fan for her house (the weather here is getting out of hand). There have been times in the past where I have gotten emotional after helping a client, but with her, I couldn’t contain it, and cried. I wanted to give her so much more. But I could only give what I could. The director reminded me that God provides people to intercede for others, and that I was there for her, for a reason. I was suppose to help her, suppose to be stirred by God and broken for her. It was crazy. Our God is crazy and creative and wonderful all the time. Sometimes I wonder why we are put in those places at those times.
Divine appointments… Have you ever had one?
Its interesting the things that God has taught me last week and still….. I think he is teaching me how to me non-materialistic also, by learning to live with less/give up more. I think that living at Hume Lake, and now living at Doulos has taught me the importance of simplicty. Before moving to Maui, and a lot during, I would only shop at Macy’s. I bought brand name clothing and the likes because I liked it, and I wanted it. After moving back, and before Hume, and even now, I shop at thrift stores for most of my clothing. Some of it comes from places like Old Navy, but honestly, a lot of my favorite things came from places like Savers and Goodwill. Las Vegas has awesome thrift stores, and I cant wait to go hit them up again! All that to say that I think God has been teaching me HUGE things about what life will be like during the race. I will only be able to carry 45 pounds of my life on my back, and about 1/3 or more of that is camping gear. WOW!
I think this week God is teaching me a lot of things too… mostly though, I cant really put a name to them. I have had several personal struggles including the ever-present one of being single and being lonely. As much as I know these things have a greater purpose in my life, rather than to just make me miserable, its still hard to be present in my head when these feelings surface. I had a bit of a breakdown in my bathroom last week, but after I was able to cry about it (my way of processing sometimes) and a conversation and email with a friend, I was able to see the reality of it all. God DOES have a plan and purpose for this time in my life. And, since I cant date on the race, I still have a year and a half to go before anything actually happens. YES, a long time, but I’m actually really okay with it. Which is weird. I desire to date and get married, but God has really shown me a time frame for this, and I think that I’m starting to embrace it more that just accept it. I think I just get myself into a tailspin of freak out… and then there is NOTHING to fall back on but the truth of God. Which is also something I’m really diving into. Its pretty awesome.
With that same theme, I was driving to the airport last night alone, to pick up one of the girls from a trip home. A friend of mine made a CD for me for Valentines Day, sort of to celebrate that we are single, and loving it. All of the songs are secular, but I think that last night, God really spoke through them in a way to me, which is HOW Im learning to be okay with being single.
One of the songs is called “I dont Need a Man” (The part that I connected with is really just that line… the song itself isnt too bad, but still has a bit of yuck in it, and the music video I just watched is gross and demeaning, so dont go watch it). I ended up actually feeling okay with exactly where God has me. BUT let me tell you how many times I sang that line at the top of my lungs… at least 20 if not more. And there is one more that really spoke to me, called “One Step at a Time”, that really convicted me about waiting and being impatient, that life is just one step at a time, and I need to let it be. So it goes to show you that God can speak to you, and me through things we would never expect, like secular music turned up real loud.
I also think Im learning the importance of God’s timing and being fully
OKAY with how it all works out. I am learning how to trust God more,
and better. God is so good!
OKAY with how it all works out. I am learning how to trust God more,
and better. God is so good!
