All good stories need a conclusion-this is mine.
Don Miller articulated a deep conviction I’ve had but couldn’t express:
“What I believe is not what I say I believe; what I believe is what I do.”
I went on the WR because it was time to start living what I said I believed. I believe that the problem with our world is inside myself: I am selfish and even the most noble things I do often have overtones of self-promotion or false humility – of sin. I believe the only lasting solution to the problem of my sin is found in Jesus Christ, who exchanged my brokenness for new life.
Job sums up my World Race experience pretty well:
My ears had heard of you [God], but now my eyes have seen you.
From To
I’ve gone from hearing of God, from bumping into Him in coffee shops and hikes through the woods (I actually don’t regularly go to coffee shops or walk through the woods, but it sounds poetic), from reading about Him in the Bible, from hearing many many sermons on Him
to
experiencing Him, hearing from Him, being utterly dependent on Him, feeling His love for me and all humanity so furiously, seeing how big God is.
Eyes
Nowadays I don’t need theological proofs to believe that God is good. I know He is good because I’ve experienced His goodness firsthand and seen it secondhand in the lives of others.
What changed is not God; I am the one who changed. You could say some of the scales on my eyes that were blinding me to spiritual realities have been lifted. I say “some” because life is a journey of knowing God and being transformed by Him, and 11n11 was just the dawn awakening. That’s why being home has been exciting – I’m seeing God in places I missed Him previously, before I hopped on a jet plane bound for the other side of the world.
The Question
So, the question is, if God is everywhere working His story of restoration, from Columbus, Ohio, to the plateaus of Malawi, did I need to travel to four continents and 11+ countries to experience God?
No, I don’t think so. But I did need
- To see the big picture – Life isn’t about me, it’s about God, and it’s way more fun when it’s about God.
- Time – to just be with God. My life was such a flurry of activity before 11n11 that I had precious little time to find out for myself who this Jesus guy is.
- To step out of my comfort zone – I had built a fortress of safety. I was so insulated from my need for God by the busyness of school and good career prospects and a well-paying future. There is nothing inherently wrong with these things, but they cut me off from God. I knew theoretically that I needed Him, but food was on the table, my bed was soft and fluffy, and I had enough clothes for several small families. Going away, living out of a backpack, sleeping on the ground, being a tiny bit hungry or thirsty some nights, pulled back the curtain and showed my self-made fortress of security as it truly is: worthless.
So no, I didn’t have to physically leave to get perspective, time, and uncomfortableness, but I think leaving did better position me to encounter God.
I’m not going to list out “11 Things I Learned in 11 Months on the World Race.” The reason is not because I am unable – I have enough notebooks and scars and pictures and memories to write 100+ things I learned (and I’d love to share more over tea and biscuits with you!).
But I don’t want you to read about it and forget it, I want you to experience it. You see, that was my problem before the World Race: I had read so many good blogs and articles but I hadn’t experienced what these people were talking about, so it never sunk past my head into my heart. There is definitely a time for reading and learning – theory sometimes precedes practice – but there needs to be a point where we set down the book on “How to Pray” and just start praying.
It took me four months just to process all of this. I am back in America now but the journey continues; I’m on a new world race and it’s full of learning, messing up and trying again; there are joys and sorrows, old struggles and new eyes, yet the same hope.
This is my last blog here – maybe one day I will write again elsewhere – but for now my challenge is this:
Stop writing about it, start living it.
Until we meet again, thank you for sharing this journey with me.
