Running 26.2 miles takes a while. It took me 3 hours and 46 minutes. That is a long time to be trapped in your head as your legs scream out misery. They say running a marathon is a big part mental, and I would have to agree. Though I love running and the scenery was beautiful, there comes a point when your body refuses to move forward and you have to consciously swing each leg forward through a myriad of pain. That point is where you start to ask yourself, not if its worth it, but is it physically possible? Are your tendons going to snap and you will be left to crawl with your arms. Or are you going to misjudge a step in your fatigue, rolling an ankle and falling to the ground. Relying on the Lord and His strength to physically, mentally, and spiritually was the only way I could allow my body to move forward. I knew that this was a spiritual challenge from the moment it first popped in my mind 7 months ago, and I knew that I would be humbled as I give up control to the Lord and allow Him to help me finish. I also looked forward to the lessons learned, and the spiritual analogies that would come with.
I hit THAT point about about kilometer 35 out of 42. (The whole race was measured in kilometers. Mile 22 out of 26 for those not accustomed to metric.)Up until that point I had thoroughly enjoyed the race. We started well before sunrise in the dark and it wasn’t until about kilometer 16 that light began flooding the earth. It was a beautiful, peaceful run through the dark and alongside plenty of other runners who seemed to equally be enjoying their pre sun workout. The sun began to rise right as we left the major busy parts of the city stepped into a more rural scene. From the road rice farmers could be spotted plowing their field, and old women were spotted carrying their fresh fruits and vegetables to market and street vendors lighting their embers to start the days cooking. The streets were soon lined with hundreds of school children dressed in their uniform offering us cheers and high fives as we passed. I spent most of the morning in my mind, trying to maintain a 5 minute/kilometer pace, without pushing myself too hard to catch competitors, and not let myself lag to far behind where my finishing goal became unreachable. I found myself praying for my squad mates, my family, my friends, my future, fellow runners. I didn’t drink any water or eat bananas the first half of the race to avoid weight, but also trying to gauge oncoming cramps. It was easy. I was already planning my next marathon. I started talking to fellow racers. I met a couple guys from Singapore, Japan, Taiwan, and Australia. We had some good chats that passed away a few kilometers. Funny enough, running a marathon doesn’t effect your breathing too much, again it’s mainly mental and tiring on your limbs, not your lungs. After talking to Gerry, the Australian bloke, he encouraged me, if you’re feeling good, go on ahead, reach your time. I was at 30 kilometers at this point, still feeling awesome and about 6 minutes behind my target time. Simple math told me that if I shave off about 30 seconds each kilometer, that will get me right where I want and there was only 7 miles left. After all I was only jogging at this point, and the remaining distance was so achievable and I had done it all the time, much faster in training. So I set off. It was going great! I still felt great. Wasn’t as optimistic about shaving 30 seconds off each kilometer, but felt great going at a swifter pace. But then of course I hit kilometer 35. I felt it coming on for a little ways, but at kilometer 35, it hit me, ‘I might not be able to finish this thing.’ It no longer became an issue of crossing the finish line, but it was a matter of survival. Was I going to survive the marathon without hurting myself. So much pain filled my legs and my groin. I had a great idea. 7 kilometers. I would pray for each country we had been to already for each kilometer and pray to the Lord for the strength and perseverance he has shown me through my training. The kilometers got very long however, and the next kilometer marker was never in sight when I expected it. My pace was dropping. I was struggling. I wanted to quit.
Gerry caught up to me. I told him I was struggling. I believe the Lord spoke through him when He told me, ‘Look at each kilometer as its own race, with each race getting easier and more exciting, because soon enough all the little races will be over, and you will be finished having accomplished each race and the whole marathon.’ I continued to pray for strength through each of my mini races, and slowly, but surely, the finish line was crossed to some celebration from some great mentors and friends.
Most races, I look forward to that final stride. Once one foots crosses the line and you know that you finished and no longer have to push yourself. But as soon as I stopped, I had to keep going! I pushed other finishers out of the way, as I had to keep running. It hurt way too much to stop moving and relax. Suddenly everything hurt. Not only my legs, but my stomach, shoulders chest, head. It was miserable. It continued to hurt for 45 minutes. I could not get comfortable. I couldn’t walk, sit, crouch, bend over, lay down, stretch. It all hurt so terribly. Parts of me still hurt today, but once I could relax slightly, the joy of it all hit me. I was filled with so much laughter and happiness. I couldn’t believe what was just accomplished through Gods strength in me. I just finished a marathon, in very good time, with one of the worst training regiments ever and right in front of one of the coolest historical sights I have ever seen, Angkor Wat. Months of thinking about it, and miles of training, and now it was finished, accomplished. I knew it would be rewarding to push through, persevere, but that joy never left me that day and still fills me today.
The Lord taught me a lot through this whole training process and definitely left me with a few great lessons from the race. The main lesson learned is that hard times of perseverance can come at any time during a race. Often we think of the beginning being challenging and making it to that half way point, but from their it’s all good coasting downhill. That’s how I felt in the marathon. I was well past halfway and enjoying every bit of the race and with a huge smile on my face until about the last 5th of the race when it got hard. You are so much closer to the end at that point, but there is still a huge desire to quit and lies told to you that it’s not worth it. It related to me so much to where I am at on the World Race. There is a sense of finishing soon and being past all of the hard parts (earthquakes, accidents.) I have loved the race so far and learned to love it more every month, but those hard times of being tempted to quit can still come in and entice you. We are at no safer point now, than we were 7 months ago. So that is a challenge to me to keep my attitude high about the race. Even if things don’t go my way or I am challenged in ways I don’t want to be, I need to be even more aware of how those things effect my attitude and view of being on the race, and not let it deter me from finishing as strong as I finished month 7.
Another thing I learned was from Gerry’s advice near the end of the race. He told me to break down the overall race into smaller little accomplishments, celebrating each victory. What the Lord showed me through his advice is a message of being present in every moment and every season. It’s something that comes up a lot on the race and in life when we are always looking ahead to the next thing and not being present in the moment. We might be looking ahead because this season is long and difficult, or we might be looking ahead to the prize or the reward at the end, but we must take notice of all the small victories in between and amidst the suffering. It is common for me to count down the months on the race or wish certain aspects of certain months away or be glad a certain month is over. But I need to break down the race to each of its elements. The individual days, the weeks, the months, the countries. Celebrate each day, each victory, and make sure that they are all accounted for. Sure, the greatest reward might be the completion of the whole race, but the addition of all the little rewards given if we are present each day is far greater. So just as I broke down the last part of my marathon, and although the kilometers were hard, it helped me to celebrate each kilometer and look with anticipation to the next prize, even if it wasn’t he completion of the race yet.
One other lesson worth mentioning is about finishing. A lot of talk of the end of the race is happening and how we should finish. And as I’ve been mentioning, there are parts of me that look forward to that reward at the end of the race of being finished and knowing I completed the race and now have all the stories to tell but be living comfortably. But what my pain at the end of he marathon showed me is that that final stride of crossing the finish line isn’t always that breath of fresh air or ease of suffering you expect. Finishing and accomplishing is great but it doesn’t guarantee that the next season will be easy. It took me a while to recover and be comfortable after pushing myself for 3 and a half hours. So after pushing myself for 11 months, I need to be prepared mentally and spiritually that reentry to an ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable’ American life may not be as easy as envisioned. But eventually through that suffering and the hard times that do follow, God promises that moment when I will be able to look back on what has been accomplished and will reward me with that joy of finishing strong and persevering through Him.
