With six months of beard upon his
face and the South African dust settled within, Julian looked at me with his
big blue eyes and spoke forth the words that would change the very paradigm by
which I chose to live. 2 years ago, Julian and I had become the best of
friends. Serving as missionaries, traversing the globe, we had learned what
true brotherhood was about, and at that white table of that run down hostel he
spoke over me the death that would become the very life of me…
“William, I hope you die!”
Taken
back and in shock by the words he spoke, I found myself standing within a scene
of life where I had rarely stood before, speechless. Did Julian truly just say
that he wanted me to die?
Indeed
he did, and for some strange reason at that strange moment, I wanted to die
too. In fact it was at that moment that I had decided to kill myself. Yes, I
plotted my own death, one that would take me far beyond any grave, and into the heart of God.
Julian
never wanted me to “physically die”, but he wanted me to “die to myself”, for my selfish
ambition to be tucked away into a grave. He wanted me to truly LIVE for God, no
longer looking out for what is best for me, but become the servant who I am
called to be. Julian was encouraging me to become a Romans 12 kind of man, and
I wanted that too.
You see it was once written,
“Therefore dear brothers and sister, I urge you in view of God’s mercy, to
present your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. This is
your true and proper worship.” Romans 12:1
Somewhere in the midst of Julian’s
demented words lay a Biblical truth that Paul had expressed similarly with words as demented as Julian’s, as he lay forth the foundation by which we are to
live. Paul spoke death over the Romans as he explained that we are to live a life of death, and only in that death can we truly live. It is
saying “No” to things of me, and professing “Yes” to the heart of God. It is
the scarcity in living abundantly. It is disparity becoming prosperity. It is
death where we find “LIFE”.
God wants to use us, but will only do so when we live a life that proclaims, “Not my will, but Yours be done”.
It was at the white table of that run down hostel that I chose the “Romans 12” life.
What life do you choose?
“In a garden we fell, in a garden he prayed” (Jonathon David Helser, see video below)
Come back to the garden and where we once fell, take back that act of Adam, and take on the yoke we were intended to take, as we pray, Luke 22:42- “Not my will, but Yours be done..”
