A few things that I am walking in/coming to understand…
Death… My grandmother just died while I was in China. I had no idea. I never
got to say goodbye. But it is good. It is so good. She loved Him, and it
showed. But something that I am reminded of in her death is this. I will NEVER
get to see her again. I will never talk to her again. I will never eat her
insanely amazing potato salad again, at least not in this life time.. She is
gone.
I have said in my life that the old has died and I am born again, but how much
of a liar I have made myself out to be. I struggled through porn for so long. I
struggle to this day with pride. I have lied, cheated, stolen, all of the
things that I claimed to be reborn into, I have stepped away from. You see, the
old had not died. I had merely kicked the “old” in the groin and sent him
crying on the ground long enough to appear like I was new. If the old had
“DIED” then it would never show back up. If the old had truly died then I can
never get it back. It is gone, dead, buried, never to be seen or heard from
again. It is time that we put the old to death, not wound, not hurt, not
paralyze, do nothing but kill, chop off the head of the giant and let its blood
pour out. It is time that the old died, and that the new is born. Look into
your life, has the old truly died and the new truly been born? If not, then
what are we doing?
Questions, questions, questions… this race has been nothing but questions.
Pride so often tells the world that “I know” the answer.
Working in a field
planting cassava/tapioca, I am asked to fill in a small gap that someone else
had left unplanted. My first response, “Yeh, I see it. I’ll get it, thanks.”
Sounds nice enough right? What I was actually saying in my mind, “Do you think
I am dumb? I know how to plant, my eyes work, I don’t need your instruction.”
We want to walk in humbleness, so what can we do?
ASK QUESTIONS!!! Nothing is more humbling than saying, “I don’t know the
answer to this, can you help?” It is actually saying that someone knows more
than you. it is saying that there opinion matters. it is saying that I am not
the “End all, say all”.
I heard a great quote from a movie called “What the ‘bleep’ do
we know” These scientist are talking about quantum physics and one of them
states,
“The deeper I go into that rabbit hole, the deeper I find that rabbit hole
goes. You see, the more we have come to know, the more we know that we don’t
know.”
Pride stops us from digging deeper into that rabbit hole. Pride
doesn’t allow us to state that there is more that we don’t know, and leaves no
room for growth. How did science get to where it is right now? It asked
questions. They said that there is more to know, and it searched for more.
Thus is life. When you come to a point of asking questions, you
will find that there is so much more to know, and just how humbling that can
be.
Walk forward in meekness and humbleness, and see the world in
the light of Christ.
