This blog is a
continuation of the previous post, “Jesus Hugged Me.”
I’ve been encouraged to speak the words, ‘I love you God.’
It’s not something that I’ve said often or really mean or feel it when I’ve
said it. For me, God’s mostly been someone I try to obey, respect, honour and
fear, much the way I was with my earthly father.
When you speak words such as “I forgive you” or “I love you”
even when you’re not sure you feel it, it releases a lot of things. It’s not
convincing yourself of something, but allowing your head to grasp what your
heart can and need to do.
Going back to that same morning, after JESUS HUGGED ME, I
sat down on the floor, and started to say, “I love you God” over and over. All
of a sudden, I started picturing my dad, and felt how much he missed me, and
how much he cared and loved me. Although none of us had ever said it to each
other, and probably never will, I knew he loved me. I kind of knew this before,
but never really REALIZED it until that moment. I started weeping. This isn’t
something I like to admit.
It’s ironic that in my video, I had used the song, More Than Words by the Extreme. You need
to do things to show what you mean, but also, words can mean so much more when
spoken.
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I mentioned that in the 2 weeks, I’ve experienced a lot. The
same can be said for my time with the kids at Cicrin Orphanage. The last day we
were leaving, I realized just how much I had grown attached to them. After our
bus left for the ferry back, I was asked to pray for our travels back. What I
did was sob. Did I mention that I don’t like to admit that I cried?
These kids are in great hands. Helen, the director, has an
amazing heart for the kids, and the kids are not forsaken, and not alone. The
last night our two teams prayed for Helen. While praying, I asked God for a
vision or words for Helen. What I saw was this: in every child at the
orphanage, I saw a huge red heart. And I saw all the crops they have in their
fields, and each plant also had a huge heart. The kids and the crops will
produce great harvest, not only in the physical sense, but in spiritual.
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I am en route to Thailand via LAX. Please pray for our
travels. I had a quick scare when I got off our flight in MIA, and I had left
my passport on the plane. They wouldn’t let me go back for security reasons,
but had someone go get it for me. 2 hrs later, I missed my connecting flight to
LA, and now I’m on the next flight into LA. Good news is that I won’t be
missing my flight out of LA to BKK. Praise God. 😛
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K, now we’re all safe and sound in Bangkok, at the YWAM base
here. All flights were good since LA!
