Training camp= as of yet, the most emotional, challenging, exhausting, and overwhelming week of my life and it's only Tuesday!!!
That is not even a joke, I came to training expecting it to be hard and challenging, but this week has been such a difficult week, where each day feels like a week and time passes slowly and I find myself already realizing the reality of what my life will look like for 11 months. 11 months= that's a LONGGGGGGGG time !!!!
This week I found myself at my weakest place, I was so exhausted, so hungry, so overwhelmed by everything that has been going on that I was ready to leave and go home for good. No joke, I even called my sister and mother trying to arrange how I would get out of this whole thing. I somehow started to believe that maybe this was actually not meant for me, maybe God really didn't call me to this, and maybe I just got caught up in the whole thing not really realizing what exactly I signed up for.
As hard (thats an understatement) as this week has been, I really feel everything I went through is actually good. It has been helping me to accept things and let go of other things. It has helped me to catch a glimpse of what is to come, and as terrifying as it seems to me now, I do truly believe God will give me the strength to go on.
I am amazed by my squadmates and leaders! They are all some of the nicest and most genuine people I have ever met. So loving and kind, and they cared so much about me staying on the squad that they prayed with me and encouraged me. God used them to help me see beyond the lie I was believing and to speak the truth in my life that yes God really did call me to this and yes I can persevere and do this for 11 whole months!!
I woke up today, with a deep peace. A peace that I am where I should be right now. Even though the last 3 days have been the most draining days I've ever experienced; I am going to finish.
God is really working in lives here and preparing us for what is to come. I am excited to be a part of this experience. It is real. I am going. I am at training camp, and I am not turning back now.
Please pray for energy and strength for me to finish as I still have about 5 days till I come home.
