Little did I know how much Psalm 84 would end up playing into my world as camp went forward. After we spent 4 days focused on the heart and dealing with the internal battle that all of us face, we made a shift into team building. During one of the training sessions, I was part of driving our team towards a goal, which we did not do so hot in. In the debrief I was matched up with Corey Jacobs again. We began to talk about how we as a team did not work well together. I began to share with him how frustrating it is to want to build team unity and my desire for everyone to participate yet at the same time facing the fact that we have a goal that we need to accomplish.
Corey then asked me a simple question that cut right to the heart of the issue. He said, “Would you be ok with failing if it meant that your team grew closer together?” And I struggled with the answer that came out. My answer was that it would bother me. I HATE TO LOSE and I LOVE TO WIN. Period. Winning is and has always been such a huge deal in my life (probably because of my performance struggle). And in that moment, a lot of things became clear. I valued winning over people and that was a sin. I went back to the team and asked their forgiveness for the issue and God began to reshape my thinking on this issue.
I might have laid down the rock of performance at the cross, but now I was learning how to let the affects of that issue die in specific areas of my life and this was the first step there. It was a very freeing moment to begin to ask the Lord help me to value people over victory and it’s an even cooler thing to begin to walk in that.
