“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think I am following your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this
You will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are with me,
And you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
In this moment that is the truest prayer of my heart; eloquently written by Thomas Merton. As I write this I am sitting on the front porch of home #4 (Fort Wayne, Olivet Nazarene University/Life Compass, India and now…) in the Dominican Republic overlooking the valley and mountains surrounding Caribbean Mountain Academy. I am struggling for purpose and information to communicate to all of you. But in the midst of that thought the Lord nudges me again to share my story.
The past few weeks I have been in a constant state of shifting. As I get acclimated to life here in the Dominican Republic I am learning there is not a normal; almost nothing is predictable yet I know I can count on the people around me (the staff.) The care for others and the presence of the Lord in this place is undeniable. A. A. Milne states, “One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” This is so true. People keep asking me if I have gotten settled here living/interning and I just look at them like they are crazy. Not because I do not have abounding peace/joy but because I am learning so so so much every day and each day is very different from all the others.
A few lessons:
Staff at CMA: How Jesus outlines communal living through Luke in Acts is hard but possible.
Students: A life without hope is no life at all.
Creation: Perseverance is not a gift but something that flows out of you as fruit of the Holy Spirit living in you; when needed not to make life easier.
Friends/Family back “home”: I have not been forgotten. (A few examples but not an exhaustive list…BECAUSE all of you are a part of my family/friends that have and are supporting me in various ways – THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!)
David – Intentionally advocates for me and is helping spread the word of the mission the Lord has given me to go and share the gospel on WR. Because of his kindness and obedience to the Lord; fundraising has been able to continue while I am in the DR (at school.)
**Oh, and this is possible, also, because of my mom too! Thanks mom for mailing and printing and addressing letters, postcards and thank yous!!!
Shannon & Danielle – Pray and support me each day through accountability and vulnerability. Love these sisters so much and am thankful for their words of wisdom, probing questions and sharing this season of life together.
Gabriele – Encouraged me this week by saying, “Get ready for a life of trust and faith! A wanderer led by the Spirit. Life bringer! Faithful seeker! That is what you are! Greatness lies ahead of you, and will follow after you. You are taking a stand every single day and it is noticed. The gift of love you have for others is powerful. Your compassion is key to your destiny and future. Never stop loving. And searching after Him! ….Oh and your JOY is contagious!”
Culture: The language barrier is not as big or hard to tackle as I thought because the language of the heart is wordless.
Jesus: He is enough. I am not enough. I cannot be perfect; without Jesus. I cannot save or change people. I cannot make people experience true love, peace, joy, hope or contentment. Only Jesus can do these things and He is enough. He is enough for me. He has given these things and so much more to me. He is enough for the people around me – staff, students, community and people back home (all of you!) This may seem like a simple “lesson” but has impacted my reality in a huge way the last few weeks. Not only because of transition and having to learn, make mistakes and rely on others but also because of all the intentional conversations I have had with students who are asking what is enough? When will I have enough? etc… I have joined them in this pursuit and rediscovered that Jesus is the answer.
The students on campus have experienced so much pain, brokenness and trauma. The students on this campus are being challenged to believe in hope, accept truth alone and serve others. The constant tension between these things has cultivated a culture of raw vulnerability where emotional sensitivity and intentional conversations are the norm. Which has challenged me to ask questions about my past brokenness and future. Right before I came the Lord gave me this word, “daughter you are entering into a season of preparation. This is the way for you walk in it.” No wonder I am constantly learning, thinking, doing, praying and being challenged. I know my time here presently has been and will continue to be impactful. I also know that the things learned and experienced here will be instrumental on World Race next year. Thank you Jesus for your presence and provision. Your preparation is more than I could fathom.
“If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like noonday.”
Isaiah 58:9-10 (NIV)
//References//
//Thomas Merton – American Catholic order of the Cistercians//
//A. A. Milne//
//Gabriele//
