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I am dark [in my heart],
yet lovely [to God]. 

          so realizes the Beloved Bride
               in King Solomon’s Song of Songs 1:5. 

And I, as I study this beautiful and poetic Scripture,
accept this as TRUE about me too. 

So simple.
So profound.


I am dark
yet lovely.

I am naturally so sinful,
     but God loves me anyway!  
He sent His son Jesus to earth
     to pay the price of reconciliation,
     to make me righteous. 

Wow!
 
The more mature I grow in my faith,
      the more insight I receive from His Spirit. 
     The more light is shone into the dark corners of my heart. 
     The more exposed I am. 
     The more aware I become of my sinfulness. 
 
“The heart is deceitful above all things..
Who can understand [all the horrors it is capable of]?” 

               Jeremiah 17:9 
 
     The more humble I become. 
     The more grateful for His grace. 

Satan attacks me with lies, 
focusing on the truth of my darkness. 

But the WHOLE Truth is that 
I am nevertheless lovely to God.
 
I am dark,
yet lovely.
My sinfulness does not even surprise Him.
     Though it may surprise me sometimes.  
          Because of my pride. 

I don’t have to impress God.
     Not by trying to be perfect. (That would mean Jesus died in vain.) 
     Not by moping around to convince Him of the sincerity of my repentance.

I am beautiful to God because
     I have received His gift of righteousness. 
          The perfect righteousness of Christ. 
          That cannot be improved upon.

He has put His Spirit in me. 
     It is a willing spirit, and
          every movement of my heart toward Him pleases Him. 
He is an affectionate Lord.
And He sees me in the eternal destiny of my heart,
     through the lens of a billion plus years!

I am dark,
yet lovely.
 
In Luke 22, Jesus tells Peter that Satan has asked for him. 
You will deny me, but your faith will not fail.  

My spirit is willing. 
But my flesh is weak.

One of the roles of the Holy Sprit is to convince me
     of the weakness of my flesh.
     So that I won’t trust in it nor boast of it.

What am I going to do when I realize this weakness: 

          Run FROM God?    
                                              OR
                                                          Run TO God!

There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.  Romans 8:1
He offers us mercy and grace in our time of need.  Hebrews 4:16

Peter is overwhelmed with grief by his own betrayal. 

     So in John 21 we find him going fishing.
          He was resigning from his apostolic mission. 
          He realized that he was completely unqualified.  
In his heart, Peter cried out,
     “I am so unfaithful! 
      I cracked under the simple question of a servant child. 
      How can I be trusted with a lifetime of ministry?! “ 
I am dark,
…

He is so wounded by his own failure,

     so disappointed in his heart
          that he doesn’t want to face the Lord.

He was almost willing to settle for a lesser vision,

     a lower standard than what God has called him to,
     which was the same for him as it is for me and for you:
Love the LORD your God with all your heart
     and with all your soul and with all your strength.
               Deuteronomy 4:5, Matthew 22:37

Jesus shows up at the lake and asks Peter,

     “Do you love me? 
      Do you trust me to uphold you in your failure?” 

Jesus restores Peter’s confidence before the Lord. 

     assuring him that his love is enough.
 
…
yet lovely.
 

The king is enthralled by your beauty. 
          Psalm 45:11

Not because of anything I have done. 
     But because He created me in His image. 
     And He sees me through redemptive the blood of Jesus.

I am dark,
yet lovely.
Thank you, Lord, Lover of my soul! 

(inspired by a sermon series by Mike Bickle from the International House of Prayer)